


Ponies and Promises

by Attackonfullmetal_103



Category: Hetalia - Fandom
Genre: Bullying, F/F, M/M, Memory Loss, Smol rape scene, Suicide Attempt, Unrequited Crush, not graphic, sorry this is sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-08-23 05:33:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8315791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Attackonfullmetal_103/pseuds/Attackonfullmetal_103
Summary: Toris and Feliks have been friends since middle school. Feliks is in love with Toris, but Toris is infatuated with Natalia. 
But, when Toris finally realizes his feelings for Feliks, a terrible thing happens, leaving Feliks without memory.
Will Toris be able to make Feliks fall in love with him again?
***note: in case you were wondering,  I had to delete the first copy of this story I had on here, because the chapters kept getting fucked up and out of order ^^ but it's still the same story :3





	1. Love at first sight is for suckers....at least it used to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Fwaahhhh this kinda sucks. I had to completely repost this one haha. 
> 
> Oh well. Thank you for reading ♥

Feliks Łukasiewicz had always believed that the idea of 'love at first sight' was super cliché and belonged only in Disney movies (which he absolutely loved, to be clear). But even if he did enjoy watching the prince and princess fall in love at a chance meeting in a forest, he thoroughly believed that in real life, it didn't happen like that.

When he first laid eyes on Toris Laurinaitis, everything he had ever believed about 'love at first sight' diminished immediately. It was the third week of his eighth grade year. The day had started off like any other. Totally boring classes and like stuff like that. But that all changed when he walked into his third period English class. There, sitting in the back of the room was the most beautiful boy Feliks had ever seen (besides Ryan Gosling of course). He swore he saw fireworks when the boy looked up at him with his perfect green eyes and smiled shyly. When Feliks finally got the balls to approach him, he swore he lost years off of his life because of how nervous he was. But heaven forbid he let anyone else know that.

After several minutes of careful consideration (and his teacher yelling at him to sit his butt down in a seat), Feliks finally grew the balls to approach the boy and ask him for his name. When the boy shook his hand and replied softly that his name was Toris, Feliks swore his heart stop. After the teacher yelled at him a second time, he finally took a seat next to Toris. Nobody can quite remember the exact moment the two became friends, but Feliks claims that it was because of his "fabulous sense of humor that attracts everyone to me". Now, in their Junior year of high school, Feliks is still head over heels for his best friend, with Toris none the wiser.

 

"Toris!!!!" Feliks squealed, hugging Toris from behind, causing the brunette to jump slightly.

"Feliks!! We talked about this!! It's too early in the morning for this." Toris said, trying to act annoyed, but smiling nonetheless.

Feliks rolled his eyes. "You can like deal with it. You know you love me."

"Hmm. I don't know about that....." Toris said, smirking pointedly at Feliks.

Feliks put his hand over heart dramatically. "Ouch Toris. That hurt."

Toris rolled his eyes. "Come on. We'll be late for class."

"Ugh. Gross. Whoever invented school is like from hell." He groaned.

"You're being dramatic. School's not that bad."

"....has anyone ever told you how much of a total nerd you are?"

"Only everyday....this is my class. See you at lunch?"

"Toris. I know this is your class. I've walked you to class like everyday since the year started two months ago. And yes. I'll totally see you at lunch." Feliks turned on his heel and skipped down the hall to his first period, Physics. Barf.

Feliks sat in the back of the room like usual and drew ponies and flowers all over the paper he was supposed to take notes about Newton's third law of motion on. The teacher excused herself to the bathroom for a moment. Feliks honestly couldn't care less until Alfred walked by and snatched his paper off of his desk, while Feliks was in the middle of drawing a baby pony to go with the two big ponies. Not cool.

"Oh!!! Ponies!!! That is so GAY." Alfred snickered, showing it off to his friends, Ivan and Sadik. Feliks glared at them and stood up.

"Give it back." He said, glaring at Alfred.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you over all the gay coming out of your mouth." If that wasn't the worse comeback ever, Feliks didn't know what was.

"Ok. Wow. That comeback must have been hard to come up with. Especially with your surprisingly low IQ." Feliks said, lunging for the paper, which Alfred just lifted above his head.

"Ew!!! I think he rubbed his fag germs on you, Alfred." Sadik snickered.

As usual, the other students just watched, not even trying to help Feliks. Which, of course, came as no surprise to Feliks. He only had two friends. Toris (obvi) and Elizabeta. Well, he technically had four if you counted Toris' brothers, Raivis and Eduard.

Feliks kicked Alfred in the leg, who in turn, pushed Feliks, making him fall on his butt. Alfred's friends and even some other students laughed. Feliks' face flushed as he stood up.

Then he punched Alfred in the face. Which, of course , was the exact time that the teacher decided to come back.

**************

Feliks trudged down the hall to lunch, after rotting in the principal's office for two hours. The principal let him off eventually, after taking forever to decide that Feliks hadn't started the fight, and was not going to be punished. This time.

Toris spotted Feliks and ran towards him. "Hey, Feliks! Took you long enough. Lunch started five minutes ag- what's wrong?"

"Alfred and gang took my paper and made fun of my ponies and called me gay. Then he pushed me. So I like punched him." Feliks said quietly.

"What?? They're total jerks!! Are you ok?" Toris asked, hugging Feliks.

Feliks nodded, blushing.

Toris pulled away and placed his hands on Feliks' shoulders. "Just ignore those jerks. Come on now. Raivis and Eduard are waiting." He said, turning around and pulling Feliks to their normal eating spot outside. Feliks smiled brightly at Raivis when the boy looked up.

"Feliks!!! Hi!!" He said, grinning.

"Who's this?" Feliks asked, now noticing a boy who looked around Raivis' age, who was wearing a sailor uniform and sitting on the right of Raivis. Feliks totally loved the sailor suit by the way. It was totally fab.

"I'm Peter!!" The boy spoke up. He had a British accent, Feliks noticed. He liked British accents a lot, but obviously not as much as Lithuanian accents. For....certain reasons. Wink wonk.

Feliks grinned widely. "Welcome to our crazy group." He said, sitting on a towel he always spread out when they ate lunch outside. Grass stains were totally un-fab. Toris just rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah!! Toris!!! Like, what're you doin after school?" Feliks asked.

Toris shrugged. "Nothing much. Why?"

"Can you come clothes shopping with me??? Puhleeezzee??" He said, making sad puppy eyes at his friend.

"....Do I have to?"

"Yes. Pleassee??" Feliks asked, tilting his head to the side and making even bigger puppy eyes.

"Ahh...gosh darn it. I can't refuse you when you look at me like that, you jerk. Fine. I'll go." He turned to Eduard. "You'll be okay walking Raivis home, right?"

Eduard nodded and continued eating his sandwich and working on his blog.

**************

After school, Feliks ran to Toris' locker and tackle-hugged him the way he had done that morning.

"Ready to go?" Feliks grinned.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

***************

As soon as they got to the mall, Feliks ran straight for J.C. Pennies' dress selection, which Toris 100℅ expected. By the time Toris had wandered over to the dress section, Feliks already had a large pile to try on.

"Geez! Took you long enough!! Now help me look and find cute stuff."

Toris chuckled softly as he began sorting through the dresses on the rack.

***************

After two hours, Feliks had finally narrowed it down to twenty things to try on. Oh well. At least it was better than the original number of seventy nine.....

Feliks literally dragged Toris into one of the dressing rooms and sat him down on the small stool in the corner.

"Close your eyes. No peeking till I say so." Feliks said, pulling off his pants. 'If only I was pulling them off in front of him in a different situa- What?? God dammit Feliks. Stop thinking like that. You're not a perv!!'

After about 2 minutes of shuffling and zipping noises, Feliks finally gave the okay for Toris to open his eyes. He was wearing a pink sundress with a bit of a Lacey frill at the bottom and a little flower on the shoulder.

Toris furrowed his brow. "Mm...I don't really like that one. I like the little flower though. And the color. Just the design's a bit too tacky."

Feliks looked in the mirror. "Huh. Yeah. You're right. It is a bit tacky.....oh well. Next one!!"

Toris sighed and closed his eyes. This was going to be a long day.

**************

After an estimated 3 hours, Feliks had finally picked out three dresses that were befitting to his needs. Toris just got very sore legs from sitting in a changing room stall for too long.

As they were walking to the check out, they ran smack dab into Sadik and Ivan.

"Ew!! God!!! The fag just walked into me!!! Ew!!!! Hurry!! Wipe it off!!!" Sadik yelled dramatically.

"What are you doing, Toris? Shopping for your GIRLFRIEND?" Ivan said, smirking at Toris, making him shiver. He and his brothers had lived with Ivan's family for a few months in foster care. It was the worst five months of their lives. Ivan terrorised them the whole time they were there. His little brother, Raivis had it the worst, as he was prone to panic attacks. Eventually they were transferred to a different foster home, but even then, they couldn't escape seeing Ivan at school.

Toris grabbed the sleeve of Feliks' sweater and clenched it so tight his knuckles turned white. Feliks noticed and it made him mad. They could mess with him, but not Toris!! The boy had already been through hell as it was.

"Leave him alone." Feliks growled at Ivan. The other boys just laughed.

"Leave him alone!!" Sadik said, mocking him. "How gay."

"P-please just let us pass..." Toris said, softly.

Sadik laughed loudly. "Why should we? What will you give us?"

"We don't need to give you anything!!! What did we ever do to you?? Just leave us alone!!" Feliks said, and tried to push past them, but was shoved back and fell on his ass for the second time that day.

"Feliks!" Toris exclaimed and helped his friend up. He looked around, trying to find a person in the store who could help them, but nobody was in the side of the store they were in.

Feliks leaned over and whispered in Toris' ear. "Run on three." He grabbed Toris' hand. "One." "Two."

"What are you two fags whispering abo-"

"Three!!" The boys broke off in a sprint towards the cash registers. They nearly crashed into it and fell on the floor, panting. It scared the lady working there so badly, she knocked over a cart of clothing.

"A-are you okay?" She asked, peeking over the counter.

Feliks stood up, brushing his clothes off and helping Toris up. "Just dandy." He placed the dresses on the counter. "I'm ready to check out."

"O-okay..." She said, peering in the direction from which they came.

As she scanned the clothes, Feliks grabbed Toris' hand and squeezed softly. "Are you okay?"

"...mentally or physically?" He laughed weakly.

"$30.46 is your total." The lady said.

Feliks dug out the money and handed it to her. She smiled kindly and handed them the bag.

"Have a nice day....wait. What were you running from? Can I know? I kind of want to know if the store is being overrun by zombies or something....." She said, adjusting her glasses.

"...some kids from school...." Toris said, softly.

"Oh. I know how you feel. I get bullied a lot still. Even though I'm a senior..." She said. "I'm Antoinette by the way."

"Toris. Nice to meet you."

"I'm Feliks."

She smiled brightly. "Nice to meet you, Toris and Feliks.....are you Polish?"

Feliks nodded. "I am. But he's Lithuanian." He said, pointing to Toris.

Her eyes widened. "Wow! Lithuanian? I've never met anyone from Lithuania! What is Lithuania like?"

Toris chuckled. "It was nice...the towns are very pretty."

"Wow. I would love to visit there. I'm from France. If you couldn't tell by the accent."

Feliks grinned. "I've like always wanted to go to France!! It seems so totally cool!"

She smiled brightly. "Oui. It is very nice. America is okay... I guess..."

"I agree....Toris? Can you call Eduard and we if he can pick us up? I don't really want to walk home right now..."

Toris nodded and dialed his brother's number.

************

When Eduard arrived, the two boys waved goodbye to Antoinette and ran out to the car.

Eduard didn't look too thrilled. "I was in the middle of my programming club. It better be pretty dang important."

"We ran into Sadik and Ivan..." Toris said. Eduard's brow furrowed.

"Again? God. They're jerks."

"I agree whole heartedly." Feliks huffed.

"Okay. Let's get you guys home."

 

 


	2. Hopelessly devoted to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yaay appearance from Ireland~

Toris sat on his bed, watching "Grease" while Feliks painted his nails pink, which Toris only let him do if he had a rough day. And lately, that was pretty much every day. It was taking forever, as usual, because every time a song came on, Feliks would put the nail polish down and dance and sing to the song playing. The song playing at the moment was "Greased Lightning", which was Feliks' third favorite song in the movie. The first and second being, "Look at me I'm Sandra D." and "There are worse things I could do", which were both sung by Rizzo, his favorite character, who he claimed was a closet lesbian.

Feliks was in the middle of the phrase "You are supreme! The chicks will scream!" and jumping off a chair by Toris' desk, when Raivis came in.

"I....uh....Toris..? Could you help....me with my math homework...?" He asked shyly.

Feliks shook his head no. "His nails are still drying. But I can like totally probably help out."

Raivis nodded slowly. "Okay."

Feliks grabbed the paper and looked it over. "Ah. This is like pretty simple. What part are you not understanding? Toris, pause the movie."

Toris laughed and pressed the pause button on the remote, making sure to not mess up his nails, so Feliks didn't throw a hissy fit.

"Uh....the Pythagorean theorem part..." Raivis pointed.

"Oh yeah. That theorem totally sucks. But after you get the hang of it, it's like totally easy. So anyways, A squared plus B squared equals...."

Toris watched Feliks explaining the math problem to Raivis and smiled. Feliks was actually really smart, although people just naturally assumed he wasn't, because of his blonde hair and personality.

Feliks looked up at him. "Are your nails almost dry, Liet?"

"...Liet...?"

Feliks grinned. "I've decided to call you Liet, because you're from Lithuania and Liet sounds cute."

"Uh....okay...when did you decide this?"

"A few seconds ago."

Toris rolled his eyes. "Alrighty then..."

Feliks giggled. "You never answered my question by the way."

"Huh? Oh. Yeah I think they're dry."

"....hm...okay. I'll paint your other hand after Greased Lightning.... Is that all you need, Raivis?"

Raivis nodded and squeaked a quiet 'thank you' and scurried out of the room.

Feliks immediately played the movie again and danced and sang along with the actors.

After the song had finished, Feliks sat on the bed, panting and opening the pink nail polish again. "Give me your hand." Toris put his right hand in Feliks' left and the blonde began painting his fingernails, his tongue sticking out in concentration.

"Feliks?"

Feliks looked up a tiny bit, before returning back to painting the nails. "Ya?"

"...is there anyone you like...? At school?"

Feliks stopped painting. "Huh? Why?"

"I don't know. Just curious I guess." Toris shrugged.

"No. There's not anyone I like." Feliks lied ".....what about you?"

Toris looked at the ground smiling shyly, which made Feliks' heart leap. He was so cute.

"Y-yeah...there's this one girl in my physics class...she's really pretty and I kind of want to ask her on a date..."

Feliks looked at the ground, a hint of sadness crossing his face. "Oh...Okay....I actually have to go...." Feliks regained his cheerful personality. "I'll see you tomorrow.... Liet." He smirked.

**********

Feliks stormed through his front door.

"Mom? Dad? Are you home?" He paused, listening. There was no response. Of course. 'What was I expecting? They're always gone'.

Feliks ran up the stairs and into his room and collapsed on the bed, crying. He grabbed his stuffed pony, Anastasia, and squeezed it tightly.

"Dang it... I totally expected it too! Why does it hurt so freaking much??" Feliks said, talking to his pony and burying his face in his pink pillow.

He sat up quickly, realizing that he forgot the dresses he bought at Toris' house. "Great." He grumbled.

His phone vibrated on his dresser. Vibrate always sound so loud on solid surfaces.

From: Toris ♥   
6:48 pm

[Feliks? You okay? You seemed kind of down earlier...]

Feliks sighed. That idiot. If only he weren't so dense. And straight.

To: Toris ♥  
6:50 pm

[Ya I was just tired :p]

From: Toris♥  
6:50 pm

[Oh...okay. Are you sure you're not upset about the bullies today?]

No you idiot. It's not them. It's you.

To: Toris♥  
6:56 pm

[Nah im fine]

From: Toris ♥  
6:57 pm

[Uh huh. If you need to talk just call me :)]

From: Toris ♥  
6:58 pm

[ You just call on me brother, when you need a hand  
We all need somebody to lean onnn]

To: Toris ♥   
6:58 pm

[Omfg noooooo torissss don't go reciting bill withers on me]

From: Toris ♥  
6:59 pm

[Don't you worry. About a thing. Cause every little thing is gonna be alright]

To: Toris ♥   
7:00 pm

[I'm turning off my phone]

From: Toris ♥   
7:00 pm

[Goodnight]

To: Toris ♥  
7:02 pm

[See u tommorow]

From: Toris ♥   
7:03 pm

[**tomorrow]

To: Toris ♥  
7:03 pm

[Goodbye]

Feliks shut off his phone and smiled. Toris was still a great friend. Even if he wasn't his boyfriend, which would be great, but there was a one in a million chance that he would ever date Feliks. And a one in a trillion thousand that he would fall in love with him.

Feliks rolled onto his stomach and positioned Anastasia in front of him.

"At least you love me."

He made his voice higher, pretending Anastasia was talking to him. "Of course I love you!!! And so does Toris!! Just like platonically!!"

"Gee thanks." He said, smiling.

He heard the door open downstairs and he jumped off his bed and ran downstairs. "Dad? Mom?"

His dad looked up from the documents he was grabbing off the kitchen counter. "Hey, sport. Sorry I can't stay longer. Just order a pizza for dinner." He said, placing forty dollars on the table, then ran back out the front door.

Feliks sat on the stairs, sadly. "Love you too."

In his imagination, he was going to a park with his parents, who were always home and cooked a wonderful meal every night, instead of being gone all the time and throwing money at him to order some sort of food for himself. He never knew when they would be back. Sometimes they would leave for months at a time. He knew that they were busy, but would it really kill them to be home every once in a while? And pay attention to him?

He crossed his arms and rested his head on them.

He was broken out of his thoughts by a knocking on the door. He jumped down the stairs and opened the door. His next door neighbor, who he was technically friends with....her family had only moved in a couple months ago, so they weren't best friends yet, but Feliks could see it happening sometime in the future. They seemed very dysfunctional... At least from what he heard.

"Hey, Feliks." She said in her Irish accent, which Feliks thought was totes adorbs. "My brothers are all fighting again....Could I hang out here for a little bit?"

Feliks smiled. "Of course, Chloe! Anytime. You came at a good time too. I was totally about to order pizzas!"

She clapped her hands together. "Yay!! I've only had pizza once when I was in Italy!!"

"Well, you are about to have the time of your life. There's this like totally awesome Italian restaurant a couple blocks over. Like by the mall. And it's run by this Italian family. The kids are around our age and one is like pretty nice, but his older brother is a total ass."

She giggled. "That sounds fun. And they deliver?"

"Yep!!! Hold on. I'm going to invite Eliza over. You've met her once. I think. I think she was like over here when you moved in."

Chloe smiled and sat on the couch, pushing her red hair out of her green eyes. She was so cute.

'If I were straight, I'd probably be all over her.' Feliks thought, grabbing his phone off the desk and sending a text to his second best friend in the world. Toris was obvi his first.

To: Elizaaaaa >_< ♥♥♥  
7:39 pm

[Liza. U should come ovr and hang out w/ me and Chloe and watch les mis]

From: Elizaaaaa >_< ♥♥♥  
7:40 pm

[Who's Chloe again? And yes. I'm definitely there.]

To: Elizaaaaa >_< ♥♥♥  
7:40 pm

[My neighbor. Shes cool. You met her once wen she moved in]

From: Elizaaaaa >_< ♥♥♥  
7:41 pm

[Ohhhh the Irish girl? She's hot]

To: Elizaaaaa >_< ♥♥♥  
7:41 pm

[OK whatevs]

From: Elizaaaaa >_< ♥♥♥  
7:42 pm

[Haha be there in 5]

Feliks bounced down the stairs, dialing the number for the Vargas's restaurant.

An annoyed Italian voice answered the phone. "Hi. This is the Vargas Italian restaurant. What can I do for you."

"Hey. It's me, Feliks." Feliks heard the boy groan. "I want to order a couple pizzas."

"Ugh. Fine. Let me go find my fucking notepa-"

Another voice came from the phone, which Feliks recognized as the owner of the restaurant. "Lovino!!! Don't be rude to customers!!! Where's your brother?? He's supposed to be answering the phone!!"

"He ran off to the fucking bathroom ten minutes ago with the potato bastard!!!"

"Fine. Hand over the phone." There was a bit of shuffling. "Ciao!! Sorry about that. What can I do for you today?"

"Um...can I get a couple pizzas?"

"Oh!!! Feliks!! Of course you can!! What do you want?"

"Hold on." He covered the phone speaker and looked at Chloe. "What do you want?"

She looked up. "Huh?"

"Pizza."

"Oh! Anything is fine."

"Alright." He took his hand off the speaker. "I'll just take a cheese pizza and an everything pizza."

"Okay!! Delivered, correct?"

"Yep!"

"Okay! It will be over there in a bit."

"Thank you...or Grazie or whatever."

Feliks hung up and tossed his phone on the couch next to Chloe, just as Elizabeta walked in the front door.

"Hey, Feliks!!!!" She hugged him. "And....?"

"Chloe." She said, standing up and extending her hand. Elizabeta shook it and smiled.

"Nice to meet you, Chloe." She looked around. "Where's Toris?"

"....at his house. I don't know. I don't really feel like hanging out with him right now."

Elizabeta sighed. "What happened this time?"

Feliks sat on the ground, cross legged. "He said he liked this girl in our class and wants to ask her out."

Elizabeta also sat on the ground and grabbed his hand. "You seriously need to have a crush who's not straight."

Feliks sighed. "I know."

Chloe stood awkwardly to the side. "...who's Toris again?"

Feliks looked up and patted the ground next to him. "He's my best friend. And crush. I'm pretty sure you've never met him. He never seems to be here when you come over. Which is weird, because he's over a lot."

"What?? She comes over a lot? How come you haven't introduced her until now?" Elizabeta pouted.

"I thought I did...oh well. She comes over when her brothers are fighting for about an hour to two hours. She goes to the all-girls school downtown."

"Ohhh. That's why I've never seen her."

"Speaking of not seeing someone, why weren't you at school today?"

Elizabeta lied on her back. "I didn't feel like it."

"You're going to fail."

"No I won't. I'm ahead of all my classes."

The doorbell rang and Feliks ran over to open it. The friendly brother, Feliciano was standing in the doorway, hair slightly mussed up, holding two large boxes of pizza, which made him look even smaller than he actually was.

"Ciao, Feliks!! Hi Elizabeta!!! And hello pretty girl!! Here's your pizzas!!" He said, grinning.

Feliks handed him the money and took the pizzas. "Thank you, Feli."

Feliciano waved goodbye and skipped away.

The two girls dug into the pizza, while Feliks turned on Les Misérables, which was by far one of the greatest movies of all time. After it began playing, Feliks plopped down next to the girls.

Elizabeta snapped her fingers. "I just remembered!! Gilbert is having a party this weekend and told me to invite you, Feliks. And Toris too, but I'll just text him. You should come too." She said to Chloe.

Chloe nodded. "Maybe....I've never been to a party before."

Feliks looked at her, shocked. "No way! Parties are like so much fun!! We're totally taking you. And Toris better come too. I'm not mad at him anymore."

Elizabeta rolled her eyes. "Your feelings towards him are super bipolar." She said, texting Toris. Her phone dinged, indicating that a text had come in. She opened it up and smiled. "Toris is in....so is Eduard."

"What did you tell him?"

"There's a slight possibility that I told him that our death would be in his hands if we didn't have our lovely designated driver, aka him. And Eduard was already planning to go, after he found out the girl he likes is going."

"Oooooooo!!! Eduard!! That little shit!! Who is she??"

Elizabeta put a finger to her lips. "I can't tell."

"Ugh. Fine. I'll find out eventually."

"Yes you will."

"Whatevs. This party better be as good as his previous ones.....I just hope Alfred and gang aren't there...."

"If they are, I'll beat them with a frying pan."

Feliks laughed. "Are you gonna like come, Chloe?"

She bit her lip, then nodded. "I guess it couldn't hurt."

Elizabeta squealed. "Yay!!! This is gonna be great!!"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!!!!


	3. Party on (something to remember)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's party time!!! 
> 
> Unfortunately, Feliks has a run in with Alfred and gang.

Feliks, Toris, Elizabeta, Chloe, and Eduard all piled out of Toris and Eduard's car, which they shared. Feliks grinned at Toris.

"His parties are always great! Do you remember his last one? Super fab."

Toris rolled his eyes. "I remember you making out with Ludwig's dog and throwing up on Feliciano's shoes. And falling down the stairs. And throwing up again....on Gilbert. I'm surprised you were even invited back."

Feliks pouted. "I wasn't that bad. Anyways!! Let's go in!!" Feliks walked towards the already wild house, his little pink skirt bouncing with every step.

Toris and Eduard followed him, but Chloe stood hesitantly by the car. Elizabeta smiled at her and grabbed her arm. "Don't worry! I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you." Chloe smiled softly and nodded.

The two girls then followed the three boys into the bustling household.

**********************

Eduard immediately wandered off, looking for his 'special someone' (Feliks had still not figured out who she was, but he would. It was his mission) and Toris and Feliks were left alone together.

"Ooh! Look at this!!" Feliks said, looking into one of the red solo cups that a boy with spiky, blonde hair was passing out. "This is new! What is this?"

The spiky haired blonde grinned widely. "I made it myself!! I just combined all the alcoholic drinks I could find into one. I think there's beer, vodka, a little wine....and a few others."

Feliks smiled and took a cup, and took a sip. He made a face. "Woo! That was strong! Do you want to try some?"

Toris shook his head. "No. Designated driver, remember?"

Feliks shrugged and took another sip.

Toris gasped softly and Feliks looked up at him, confused.

"Is...everything oka-"

"She's here!"

"...who?"

"The girl I told you about! I should ask her out now."

Feliks looked around the crowd, trying to search for the girl his friend was talking about. When he turned back to where Toris had been, he found that Toris had disappeared. He scanned the crowd for Toris, but had no luck in finding him.

Feliks sighed and chugged the rest of his drink, the alcohol burning his throat the whole way down. He went back to the alcohol dealer and had him refill the cup.

The spiky blonde smiled sympathetically at Feliks. "Somebody break your heart?"

Feliks sighed. "How'd you know."

Spiky blonde shot a longing glance at a silver haired boy, who was sitting with a boy with the same color hair, who Feliks assumed was his brother, in a corner. "Let's just say, I'm in the same boat. Cheers. To hopefully better luck in the future with relationships." He said, holding out a red solo cup, which Feliks tapped with his own cup.

"I'll drink to that." He said, taking a big swig of the strange alcoholic concoction, and blonde spiky did the same.

"Now go have fun. There's probably a nice boy or girl who would be more than willing to dance with a pretty girl like you."

Feliks smirked and walked away, not feeling like correcting the boy of his gender. He was swaying slightly from the amount of alcohol spreading through his system. He was just about to sit on the steps, when he heard cheering coming from the next room. So, naturally, he went over to check it out. Whatever he was expecting was definitely not this. Chloe, his shy, sweet, quiet, next door neighbor, was on the coffee table, her shirt off and being swung around her head with the hand that wasn't holding her cup. Feliks' jaw dropped at the sight of the Irish girl.

"Well. Turns out the Irish live up to their reputation of out of control drunks." Elizabeta said, resting her elbow on Feliks' shoulder."

"...you can say that again.... We really should get her off before she removes another item of clothing."

Elizabeta laughed and pushed her way through the crowd and up to the coffee table. "C'mon, Chloe. Come on down." She said, pulling Chloe off the table and helping her put her shirt back on, which received a few boos from a few boys....and some girls in the crowd.

Chloe laughed, drunkenly and slung her arm over Elizabeta's shoulder.

Elizabeta put her hand around the girl's waist to support her, and made her way back to Feliks, who looked drunker than a few minutes ago. "Are you okay, Feliks?"

Feliks nodded, taking another sip and wobbling slightly. Elizabeta raised her eyebrow. "Uh huh. Where's Toris?"

"Dunno."

Chloe started groping one of Elizabeta's breasts and giggling, making her face go bright red. "A-ah. Chloe!" She looked at Feliks, apologetically. "I should lie her down..." And with that, she was gone, carrying the Irish girl along with her.

Feliks leaned against a wall. Of course she left. Everyone left him. His parents. His friends. Anyone who actually knew him. A tear dripped down his cheek. He always got depressed when he drank. But only in his mind. His body was more crazy drunk. It was weird.

"Hey, Feliks! I found her and- are you crying??" Toris said, walking over to Feliks, a concerned look on his face.

Feliks wiped his eyes. "...heh. I'm okay. I just....fuck."

"What's wrong?? You're not going to throw up, are you??? Ah!! Bucket! Bucket!" Toris began frantically looking around.

Feliks shook his head and grabbed Toris' arm. "Ivan's here. And Alfred."

Toris paled. "Ah! God dammit. We have to go find Elizabeta and Chloe! Then let's get out of here." He said, pulling Feliks through the crowd by his hand.

Feliks tried to slow him down. "T-toris! Slow d-down!! I'm gonna be s-" He turned to the side and threw up on a girl's shoes. The girl didn't say anything, but instead glared at him, scaring everyone standing around her.

Toris stopped and kneeled down next to Feliks. "Feliks! Are you okay? Ah. Oh no. I'm sorry." He looked up at the girl and froze. It was Natalia. His crush. "I-I-I....I'm so so so sorry. I'll get paper towels immediately!!" He ran off towards the kitchen, leaving Feliks on the floor, with the girl standing over him.

"Natalia? Natalia? Where are you?" Feliks heard Ivan yell. He felt sick once again, and tried to stand up, but Natalia stepped on his fingers, making him squeal in pain.

"I'm right here, brother." She smirked, waving Ivan over. Ivan's smile turned into a smirk as he saw Feliks on the ground, his hand being crushed by his sister's.... Vomit covered? Ivan lifted Feliks off the ground and dragged him away. Feliks tried struggling, but he was too drunk and weak to really accomplish anything.

"Alfred." Ivan said, dragging the squirming boy over to his friend.

Alfred turned around, smiling brightly. "Dude!! I've been looking for you!!!"

Ivan pulled Feliks up so Alfred could see him. "Look what the cat dragged in."

Alfred smirked. A lot of people seemed to have been smirking that night. "Hey, fag. Why don't we take a walk outside?"

Feliks shook his head weakly. "...please don't..."

Ivan and Alfred laughed, pulling the boy out the front door and down the street.

 

Meanwhile, Toris had returned with wet paper towels to wipe off Natalia's shoes. "H-here you go..." He said, dropping to his knees and wiping them off. "...did you happen to see where Feliks went?" He looked around for his missing friend, without any luck.

"Hm. I think I saw him go upstairs." She lied, brushing her fingers through her hair.

Toris folded up the dirty paper towels and nodded. "T-thank you very much. I'm sorry about my friend. He gets really drunk...." He started to walk away, but then turned right back around. "Natalia?"

"Ja?"

"I-if you're interested, would you like to go on a date sometime?" He shuffled his feet awkwardly.

"Maybe." She replied, looking bored.

Toris smiled. "Okay. Goodbye." He then ran off to throw away the paper towels and deep wash his hands and look for Feliks.

 

Feliks grunted as he was thrown against the alley wall. The two boys had dragged him to the alley between an apartment building and an old bookstore.

"What's wrong, tranny? Is the wittle baby hurt?" Alfred mocked.

Feliks spit out some blood. "Fuck you."

Ivan kneed him in the stomach and Feliks keeled over, hissing in pain. The boys laughed. "Don't talk to us like that. It's quite rude."

Alfred started ripping off Feliks' dress and Feliks tried to stop him by holding it in place. "What's wrong, tran? It's not like you have boobs anyways. It's completely legal for BOYS to walk around shirtless."

Tears were streaming down Feliks' face. "P-please stop..."

"P-please stop.." Alfred said in a high pitch voice, mocking him. He tore off the rest of the dress (which was on of Feliks' favorites Btw) and leaving the trembling boy sitting in his shorts, trying to curl into a ball and hide from the bullies.

Ivan pulled his head up by his hair. "We're not done with you yet." He chuckled, as Alfred removed Feliks' underwear and shorts. "Now you can be publicly humiliated."

Alfred pushed Feliks to the ground and ran off with Ivan, laughing loudly, taking Feliks' clothes with them.

Feliks started sobbing and dry heaving. His stomach hurt so badly. He felt like he was going to die. He was hurt everywhere. And he was sure that he had broken some bones. He tried sitting up, but found it too painful, so he collapsed again, crying out softly.

He curled into a ball and fell asleep like that.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys ;-;


	4. How to save a life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Appearance from the Sufin family!! :3

"Did you hear that?" A blonde man looked up from the book he was reading with his son, Peter

"Hm? Is somethin' the matter, Tino?" His husband, Berwald asked, glancing at Tino over the newspaper he was reading.

Tino placed the book in Peter's lap and stood up. "I thought I heard something in the alleyway." He said, walking over to the window facing into the alley. It was a small window, so it was fairly hard to see anything.

Tino looked up and down the alley, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. "Hm. Maybe it was my imagination.... Oh my fucking god!"

Berwald jumped to his feet and Peter looked at his papa wide-eyed. Tino only cussed if something was really, really wrong. "What is it??"

"There's a person!! Oh god. Should we call the police?? Ohmygod. Oh god. Okay. I'm going down there." Tino grabbed his coat off the coat rack and started for the door, when Berwald grabbed his arm, stopping him.

"We should just call the police."

Tino shook his head. "We will. I just have to make sure they're okay."

Berwald sighed. "Fine. But I'm coming with. Peter. You stay here." He said, before running out the door with Tino.

Peter nodded quickly and pulled out his phone as soon as they were gone.

To: Raivis   
From: Peter  
9:38 pm

Raivis!! I think my papa found a dead body in the alley XO

To: Peter  
From: Raivis  
9:40 pm

What?? Did you call the police??

To: Raivis  
From: Peter  
9:40 pm

Not yet. He wants to see if the person's still alive or something :0

To: Peter  
From: Raivis  
9:42 pm

Oh. Huh. Do you think it's a homeless person?

To: Raivis  
From: Peter  
9:43 pm

Maybe...

*******************

Tino peeked around the alley corner, then ran over to the body, his husband following close behind. He skidded to a stop and dropped down next to it. "They're still breathing, Berwald! Ah. There's some blood. And I don't think he's wearing clothes..... He looks really young. At least high school age." Tino shook the boy's shoulder gently. "No response.... We'll have to take him inside." He took off his coat and draped it over the boy.

"What?? Can't we just call the police?"

Tino picked the boy up off the ground. He looked even tinier than usual holding a body almost the same size as him. "We will. But I'm not leaving him out here."

Berwald sighed and took the boy from Tino's arms. "Okay."

 

"Peter!!" Tino called, opening the door and rushing over to push all the things off their couch. "Go get me some blankets!"

"Huh? What's wro-"

"Now!!"

Peter scurried out of the room as Berwald came in and set the boy on the couch. Tino felt his forehead. "Ah! He has a fever! Can you go get me a wet washcloth? And the phone?"

Berwald nodded and walked into the bathroom to retrieve the washcloth. Peter ran back out to his papa, holding two thick blankets that they used during the winter, because the apartment didn't have heaters.

Tino smiled softly at his son and took the blankets, and draped them over the boy on the couch.

"Wait. I know him!" Peter exclaimed.

Tino looked up at him, surprised. "You do??"

Peter nodded. "Yeah! He's my friend's brother's friend! We eat lunch together sometimes! His names....ah....it's a weird name from Switzerland.... Or something..."

"Call your friend right now!! Get the contact information from his brother for this boy."

"Okay." Peter said, pulling out his phone and clicked on Raivis' contact.

Ring

Ring

"Hello?"

"Hi, Raivis, it's Peter."

"I know. I have caller ID."

"I need you to get your brother. It's an emergency."

"What?? What's wrong??"

"I'll tell you later. Please please get your brother."

"...which one??"

"Ah..."

"Toris or Eduard?"

"Ah! Toris."

"Oh...I think he's out with Feliks."

Feliks! Ah! That was his name. But wait. If he was with Feliks and Feliks was at his house...

"What's Toris' number??"

"What's going on.."

"I'll text you! But I need to get his phone number."

"Okay..Ready?"

"Hold on." Peter ran over to the kitchen counter, grabbing a pen and a sticky note. "Okay."

"Okay....it's 579-2154 normal area code."

"Okay. Thanks." Peter said, then hung up and began typing in Toris' number.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

*click* <you've reached the voicemail box of Toris Laurinaitis. I'm not here right now. Leave a message.>

"Shit!"

"Peter! Language!"

"But you say it!"

"I'm an adult. You're only fourteen."

Peter rolled his eyes and tried calling Toris again.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

"Hello?"

"Toris?"

"Um...yes? Who is this."

"Peter. Raivis' friend. You're uh...Feliks! His friend, right?"

"Yes...do you know where he is??"

"Yeah....I need you to contact his parents."

"His parents are out on a business trip two towns away!!"

"Oh..."

"Where is he??!??"

"He's here. At my house. He's pretty hurt...I think my papa's going to call an ambul-"

"What's your address???"

"Uh....I ah...don't know. Hold on. Papa?"

Tino stopped cleaning off the scrapes on Feliks' face and looked up. "What?"

"He needs to talk to you."

"Ah. Okay." Tino stood up and walked over and took the phone from Peter.

"Hello?"

"Hello. What is your address, sir?"

"Oh. Are you his...brother?"

"No. Friend. His parents are out of town. What's your address??"

"2985 Stable st., apartment D."

"Okay. Thank you."

Toris hung up before Tino could say anything else.

********************

"Eliza. I have to go. Can you get a ride with someone else?" Toris said, grabbing the girl's arm.

She looked up at him, confused. "Um...yeah. What's wrong?"

"I'll have to find that out." He said, then pushed through the crowd and out the front door. He practically sprinted to his car and had a hard time putting the keys in, due to the shaking in his hands. Once he got it started, he made a sharp U-turn and drove as fast as he could, looking for the apartment building.

"Please be okay, Feliks."

*******************

Tino, Berwald, and Peter all looked up at the same time to Toris knocking on the door. Berwald stood up and walked over to the door and opened it.

"Where is hee....." He stopped in his tracks upon seeing Berwald's seemingly scary face.

"C'mon in. He's on the couch." Berwald said, stepping aside to let him in.

Toris shook off the shock and ran over to the couch where Feliks was. "What happened??"

"I don't know. We found him beat up in the alley." Tino said, softly.

Toris bit his lip, holding back tears. "Dammit...I should have stayed with him..." He whispered, digging under the blankets and grabbing Feliks' hand. "....wait. Where are his clothes?"

"...I don't know. I found him without any."

"God damn. Fuck. I bet it was them." Toris, much like Tino, only cussed when he was angry or stressed. And right now he was both.

"Why can he cuss, but I can't??" Peter huffed.

Tino glared at Peter. "Not now, Peter. Berwald? Can you put him to bed?"

Berwald nodded and pulled Peter into his room, the little boy complaining.

"Mmnnhm..." Feliks moaned, shifting.

Toris and Tino's eyes widened.

"Feliks??" Toris exclaimed.

Feliks' eyes fluttered open and he groaned at the sudden light.

Toris hugged his friend tightly, the tears he was holding back finally pouring out. "Feliks! Are you okay??"

"....where am I?"

"We're at this nice man's house. His son is a friend of Raivis. Where are you hurt? What happened??"

"...I was attacked by Alfred...and Ivan..."

"Shit! I knew it." Toris clenched his fist and Feliks winced, because it was with the hand that was holding his. "Ah! Fuck! Sorry." Toris pulled his hand off Feliks'.

"I think...my left wrist is broken....maybe a concussion too....but that could also be from the alcohol." He laughed weakly.

"Oh god. You need to go to the hospital."

"I already called for an ambulance." Tino said softly.

"...okay....thank you." Toris tried to smile at Tino, but the edges of his lips only raised slightly.

Tino patted Toris' back sympathetically and stood up. "I'll go wait outside for the ambulance."

Toris nodded and reverted his attention back to Feliks. "....I shouldn't have left you alone...."

Feliks shook his head. "No. I understand. You need your space sometimes.... I know. It's hard being friends with someone like me...."

"What?? No! I was supposed to be there with you!! I shouldn't have let you wander off. Especially when I knew Alfred and Ivan were there." Tears were streaming down Toris' face and landing in small drops on the blanket covering Feliks.

Feliks looked down at the blanket, tears starting to fall down his face. "...You're just saying that...You'd much rather be with the Braginsky girl."

"What?? I don't even know any of the Braginskys other than Ivan!!"

"What are you talking about? The girl you've been fawning over. Natalia. She's Ivan's younger sister." Feliks bit his lip, refusing to look at Toris.

Toris' jaw dropped. "I...I...had...no idea....."

"It's fine...The heart wants what it wants." Feliks clenched his uninjured hand.

Toris opened his mouth, but the door swung open, not giving him the chance to speak.

Tino and several medical personnel ran in, two of the ambulance workers pushing a stretcher. The other two rushed over to Feliks and checked his vitals and did a quick body search, pulling off the blankets gently, and the girl worker blushing softly, seeing that he was naked. She was fairly new to the job, and so far all of the people she helped had been clothed. After checking him over, he was lifted onto the stretcher, with a light blanket thrown over him. And as quickly as they had come, they were gone.

Toris stood, staring at the door, tears streaming down his face, soaking his shirt collar. Tino placed a hand gently on the boy's back and rubbed it in circles. "Are you okay?"

And that was when Toris completely broke down.

Next thing he knew, Tino had pulled him into a hug. Toris immediately melted into the hug, sobbing.

"It'll be okay." Tino said gently. "It'll be okay."

They stood there like that for ten minutes, Tino whispering soothing words into his ear and rubbing his back, Berwald watching silently from the corner.

Eventually, Toris pulled back, sniffling and wiping the tears away. "I'm sorry. I got stuff all over your shirt."

Tino laughed softly. "Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm used to it. My husband is quite the crybaby during romantic movies."

" 'm not."

"Yes you are." Tino giggled. "Toris, right?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want a ride home? I don't really want you driving in your condition."

"But...my car..."

"I can drive you in that, if you're okay with that. That way, you won't have to come back for it."

"But...Feliks..."

"You can go visit him tomorrow. You need to rest for now."

Toris nodded hesitantly and Tino smiled sweetly.

"I'll be back in a little bit, Berwald." Tino said, walking over to his husband and planting a little kiss on his lips.

Toris clenched his fists once in the car. 'I'll get them for this. I'm sure of it.' Toris thought to himself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meow!! Thanks for reading :3


	5. Kiss kiss fall in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On hon hon sorry
> 
> Stuffs gonna kinda go bad after this

"I don't think we should hang out for a little while."

Toris looked up from the homework assignment he was explaining to Feliks. "What??"

"......I don't want you to get hurt too." Feliks said, playing with the pink cast on his left wrist.

"I don't care about that!! I care about you!"

"...no you don't. You're just like everyone else..."

"But-"

"Please leave."

"I-"

"Go away, Toris."

Toris nodded slowly and stood up, casting one last glance at his friend before walking out the bedroom door.

It had been a week since the beating, and Feliks had been diagnosed with a slight concussion and a fractured wrist. Alfred and Ivan had been suspended from school for two weeks and that was the extent of their punishment. Ivan's older sister, who took care of her brother and sister, was very upset with Ivan and placed him on house arrest until he wrote a letter of apology to Feliks. Alfred's parents were even more upset. They grounded him for a whole year and threatened to send him to juvenile hall (which the police should have done, but the system in their city was pretty fucked up). Ever since, Feliks had barely spoken a word to anyone, and barely even looked at them.

Toris bit his lip and ran out of Feliks' house, slamming the door behind him. Then, he collapsed in the driveway, breaking down for the seventh time that week. Now, he didn't even have the strength to walk ten steps to his car.

Those stupid bullies had fucked up his best friend. And they got away with it! Barely getting punished at all!! Now Feliks didn't even want to see him anymore.

Toris felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see a blonde boy with bushy eyebrows, who appeared to be around his age. He held a glass of water out to Toris.

"Here." He had a British accent, Toris noticed. "You'll get dehydrated."

Toris accepted the water hesitantly. The boy sat down next to Toris, as properly as possible for sitting in a driveway. On the ground.

"I'm Arthur Kirkland. I live next door."

"Oh...I think I know your....sister?"

"Chloe? Yes. She's my half sister. My mum just got remarried. And he brought those two along. Turns out, my mum had an affair with him a while back and had left the twins back with him in Ireland, but she started contact with him again and one thing led to another. Now she's pregnant aga- oh. I'm sorry." Arthur bit his lip. "I sometimes go on rants. I apologize."

Toris smiled softly. "It's okay. I'm used to family rants."

Arthur glanced up at Feliks' house. "I heard about what happened to your friend."

Toris looked at the ground. "Yeah."

Arthur sighed. "I also heard that Alfred Jones was part of it."

Toris looked up, surprised. "You know Alfred? But didn't you just move here?"

"I just moved here into that house when my mum got remarried. I've lived in this town for nearly 9 years."

"Oh."

"And yes, I do know Alfred. He was really my only friend when I moved here. Other than that damn frog...."

"Frog?"

Arthur blushed. "Ah. Never mind. Sorry. Anyways, he was really the only person in my class at the time who didn't make fun of my accent. After that, we were inseparable. Then, about three years ago....he changed. I don't know what triggered it, but he began ignoring me. Then, when I tried to talk to him, he spat in my face and called me a....'fag'..."

"That's awful." Toris whispered.

"Yes. It is." Arthur sighed. "But, people don't just change randomly without a reason or trigger. I know Alfred is hiding something. I just don't know what. It's eating him up, though." He laughed softly. "He seemed to be such a happy, carefree boy. He liked to act like a superhero and would always try to make people call him 'the hero', which of course, they never did. It was quite cute actua-"

"Are you gay?" Toris blurted out.

Arthur looked a little taken back, but quickly regained stature. "Yes. I am. For a while, Alfred was the only one to know that. So, it especially hurt when he called me a 'fag', because I had trusted him with my secret. After that, I came out to everyone, not wanting Alfred to tell them first." Arthur turned to Toris, and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. "Make sure your friend stays the way he is. Don't let anything eat him up. Don't let him break like Alfred. He might not be able to come back."

Toris rubbed at his eyes. "....he is hiding something. He always has. Since I met him....."

Arthur pursed his lips. "I see....I never asked why you were crying, by the way."

"Oh..."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"It's fine....just....Feliks kicked me out. He said he didn't want to see me for a while...."

"Did you have a fight?"

"No."

"Was he worried about you getting hurt after what happened to him?"

"....maybe. I don't know. Probably."

Arthur sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Figures." Arthur pushed himself off the ground, standing up. He extended his hand to Toris to help him up. "Here. How about you head out. Come back to his house tomorrow and talk things out."

Toris nodded, taking Arthur's hand and hoisting himself up. "....okay....thank you. It was nice meeting you."

"My pleasure. It was nice meeting you as well." Arthur said, smiling.

Toris waved one last time before driving off. Arthur rubbed his temples. It irritated him every time Alfred's name was mentioned. Even worse, talked about.

That moment, standing in his next-door neighbor's driveway, he decided that he would get back the Alfred he once knew.

*******************

Elizabeta ran to catch up with Toris and tapped him gently on the shoulder. "Hey, Toris."

Toris forced a smile. "Hi."

"Toris..." She sighed. "Have you heard from Feliks lately?"

"....I was at his house yesterday. But he kicked me out....I should have never let him be on his own..."

"Toris, stop beating yourself up about it. It's not your fault."

Toris fought back tears. "What the fuck is wrong with me?? I knew Alfred and Ivan were there!!! It is ALL my fault!!"

Students walking by looked over at Toris, awkwardly..

"Calm down, To-"

"NO!!! How could this fucking happen???? What has he done to any of them???" Toris yelled, tears spilling out.

Elizabeta, and all the other students stared, wide-eyed.

Elizabeta touched his shoulder softly, but Toris pulled away.

"Don't touch me." He said, then ran away and into the nearest bathroom, where he collapsed on the floor, hanging off one of the sinks, tears streaming down his face.

He heard the door open, but didn't look up. But, when he heard little footsteps coming towards him, he whipped around to face the boy, who jumped. It was the younger Italian brother, who's family owned the Italian restaurant that....Feliks...liked so much.

"Are you okay?" Feliciano squeaked, kneeling on the floor next to Toris.

Toris shook his head, his body shaking with every sob.

Feliciano pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back gently.

Then, Toris started hyperventilating and shivering violently. Then, his brain couldn't think right. Another panic attack. He had always had problems with panic attacks, especially when he was younger. This was the third one that week. But, it was the only one he had had at school in years.

Feliciano noticed the panic attack behavior and hugged Toris tighter. He himself, was prone to panic attacks, and his brother always hugged him like this until he calmed down a bit. Then he got him water and held his hand, rubbing little circles.

The door to the bathroom opened again, and Feliciano glanced up. It was his brother's boyfriend, Antonio.

"Dios mio! Feli! What happened??" Antonio kneeled next to the two boys.

"He's having a panic attack....can you go get a cup of water? It should help after he has calmed down slightly."

Antonio nodded, and ran out of the bathroom.

Feliciano sighed and rubbed Toris' back soothingly. "Shhh. It's okay. Breath. Breath."

"What are you two fags doing?" Sadik stood in the doorway, hand on his hip and smirking.

Feliciano's eyes widened. This was literally the last person he wanted to see. "Please just l-leave us alone...." He stuttered.

"Why? So you can make out with your BOYFRIEND?"

Feliciano glared. "You wouldn't want my boyfriend to be here. He'd beat you up."

Sadik laughed. "So you are a fag! I knew it!! So are you cheating on your boyfriend? You damn two-timing fag." He walked over to Feliciano and kicked him; not hard enough to knock him over, but strong enough to hurt.

Feliciano squealed. "S-stop please!"

"S-stop please!!" Sadik mimicked.

Feliciano looked around, frantically, wishing for Antonio to return quickly. There wasn't much of a chance for any other students to come in, because passing period had ended minutes ago.

Feliciano held Toris tighter, protectively. "Go away, Sadik."

"I'm sorry. I couldn't understand what you said. I don't speak gay." Sadik sneered, leaning down and shoving Feliciano and Toris.

Toris looked up, trembling. "J-just l-leave us a-alone...." The tears were still streaming down his face, making him look extremely weak to Sadik. (Author's note: haha that rhymed....okay. Continuing...)

Sadik pushed Feliciano and Toris onto the ground, both of the boys gripping tightly to one another. They both squeezed their eyes shut and braced themselves for the impending attack..... But it never came.

Feliciano slowly opened one eye, then opened both wide when he saw Sadik fall to the floor with an 'oof'. And his boyfriend, Ludwig standing above the bully, his face ridden with anger. Actually, anger was an understatement. Ludwig looked like he might quite possibly go on a killing rampage.

When Sadik recovered from the shock, he sat up, glaring at the boy who had drop-kicked him to the ground, only to get a boot to the face. He grunted, falling to the ground, blood gushing out of his nose. Then, his face was bombarded with punches from the angry German. He was learning the hard way not to mess with Germans....or their significant other.

"If you or your friends touch my boyfriend again, I will make it so that you will have to wear a full-face mask." Ludwig growled, pushing the boy away.

Feliciano stared at his boyfriend, slightly scared, but super impressed at the same time. "Ve..L-Luddy?" He stuttered.

Ludwig looked over at Feliciano, his face immediately softening. "Feli. Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" He slid over to his boyfriend, looking him over.

Feliciano nodded. "Yes. I'm alright." It was only then that he noticed Antonio standing in the doorway, holding a cup of water.

Antonio smiled softly and handed the cup to Feliciano, who handed it to Toris, who's breathing had slowed to mostly normal. Toris took the cup, and drank tiny sips. Feliciano smiled and rubbed Toris' back.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked, and Toris nodded.

"Thanks...I'm s-sorry...I was such a b-burden on you...that w-was embarrassing... I-I haven't had a panic a-attack at school for y-years..." Toris stuttered, looking at the ground, his face flushed from both embarrassment and from crying.

Feliciano hugged him again. "Ve! Don't be embarrassed! There's nothing wrong with it at all! It's not your fault and you're under a lot of stress. So, don't even worry about it. And it definitely wasn't a burden on me!! We're friends! That's what friends do!"

Toris smiled softly. "We're... Friends?"

Feliciano giggled. "Of course, silly!" He released Toris from the hug and wiped a tear off the boy's face.

Ludwig bit his lip, trying to fight back the jealousy (and a little bit of protectiveness) over his boyfriend touching Toris like that.

Feliciano patted Toris' back, then stood up, walking over to Ludwig. "How did you know we were in trouble, Luddy?" He asked, innocently.

"...Antonio came and got me... I didn't know you were being picked on...I just wanted to help you and Toris out. But then, I lost my temper, seeing that bastard hurting you like that." Ludwig blushed, and looked away from Feliciano.

Feliciano pulled Ludwig into a tight hug. "Thank you, Luddy. I was really scared."

Ludwig squeezed his boyfriend back, burying his face in his hair. "Gott. Feliciano, I love you so much."

Feliciano smiled, his face buried in Ludwig's chest. "I love you too, Luddy."

Meanwhile, Antonio had began attending to Toris, bringing him tissues and holding his hand, softly, rubbing small, comforting circles into the palm.

"Toris? I'm going to take you to the nurse's office. I think you should go home. Can you walk?" Antonio asked, and Toris nodded his head. Antonio smiled, and helped Toris up off the ground. He looked over at Ludwig and Feliciano, who were still hugging. "I'll leave you two alone..." He walked out, his arm around Toris' waist, to support him.

Ludwig pulled away, blushing. "Oh...ah...Feli, we should get to class."

"Ve...okay."

Ludwig began to leave, but then stopped suddenly, turning back to look at the unconscious asshole on the floor. "...we have to do something about this..."

"Ve. Just leave him." Feliciano shrugged.

"We can't just leave him. I'll go to the principal to tell him."

"I want to co-"

"No. I don't want you to get in trouble. I was the one who beat him up. But I will walk you to your class."

Feliciano puffed out his cheek. "Hmph. Fine." He said, linking arms with Ludwig.

Ludwig smiled and walked out the door with his boyfriend.

 

  
Meanwhile, Antonio and Toris walked into the nurse's office, waking the nurse who had been dozing, her head snapping up as they came in.

"Oh!! What happened here??" She exclaimed, jumping out of her chair and easing Toris onto the bed.

"Panic attack. He should go home." Antonio stated.

The nurse nodded, her low ponytail bobbing up and down. "Yes. That would be for the best. Thank you. I'll write you a pass to your next class."

Antonio smiled as she scribbled her signature on a little, pink hall pass. She handed it to him with a small smile. "Here you go."

Antonio nodded and waved goodbye to Toris, telling him to 'take it easy'. Toris waved back, halfheartedly.

"Okay, sweetie. I'm going to need you to call your mom or dad." The nurse said, sweetly.

Toris nodded, pulling out his phone, clicking on his dad's contact. His mom was really moody whenever she had to pick up sick kids from school and would complain for hours. Yes, hours.

Toris held his phone up to his ear, waiting for his dad to pick up.

Ring

Ring

R-

Click

"Hey, buddy. What's up?" His dad said, casually, as if he normally got calls from his son from school everyday.

"I need you to pick me up from school, dad."

"What? Why?! Where are you?"

"I'm in the nurse's office. I had another panic attack."

"Aww. Not again. Sorry, bud. You'll just have to wait there for about an hour. That's when I get my lunch break. Hang in there."

And with that, his dad hung up.

Toris sighed, shutting off his phone and lying down on the bed.

The nurse looked up at him. "Is he coming?"

"One hour."

"Oh. Okay. You can hang out with me."

Toris smiled softly and closed his eyes, dozing off. In his dream, Feliks was on the ground, being beat by five people with no face. Toris tried to run to help his friend, but couldn't move. He tried yelling, but couldn't make a sound. He was only able to watch his best friend be beat to death. Toris' eyes flew open and he gasped, his body shaking slightly again. He had been having that dream almost every time he closed his eyes.

The nurse looked up at him. "You okay?"

Toris nodded, his face even brighter red than before.

The nurse raised an eyebrow, but didn't question it.

"By the way, what country are you from? You have an interesting accent." She asked.

"Lithuania. My parents adopted me when I was eleven."

"That's cool. I've never really been to the west side of Europe. I'm from Vietnam. I lived there until I was fifteen, then I moved here with my brother."

"Vietnam? Wow. I've never been to the East part of Europe."

The two laughed softly.

"Well, it was nice to meet you, Toris."

"Likewise."

"Okay. Now get some rest. Sorry for disturbing you."

"Okay..."

*******************

When Toris' dad came, thirty minutes after he said he would, he found his son sleeping soundly in the nurse's office. He didn't want to wake his son up, so he carried him to the car, thanking the nurse before he left.

*******************

When Toris woke up, he was in his own bed, and it was 4:50.

He sighed and rolled out of bed, fluffing his bed-head and wondering how he got there. He only remembered falling asleep in the nurse's office. Not walking or anything after that...'maybe dad carried me home' he thought.

He looked at the clock again. His parents wouldn't be back for another hour and a half. He picked up his hairbrush from off his dresser and ran it through his hair a few times, before leaving his room and walking up the stairs to the living area.

"Toris? Where are you going?" Eduard asked, and Toris jumped. He hadn't noticed his brother sitting on the couch, reading.

"Out. I'll be back soon." Toris said, opening the door.

"Are you sure that's a good idea...? With the panic attack and all." Eduard asked, concerned.

Toris nodded. "Yeah. I'll be fine. I slept it off."

Eduard sighed. "Make sure to call if you need a ride or something. Please."

Toris smiled softly. "Of course." He began walking out, but hesitated, turning back to Eduard. "Don't worry so much. You're only sixteen." He said, then walked out.

********************

Feliks groaned when he heard someone knocking on his door. "Ughh what now." He trudged down the stairs and looked through the peephole and sighed when he saw his best friend shuffling awkwardly on his porch.

He opened the door slowly and peeked his head out. "You shouldn't be here, Liet. I told you to not come over anymore." He said, sadly.

"I know what you told me, Feliks. Just let me in. I want to talk. Then, after that, you can kick me out." Toris pleaded.

Feliks bit his lip. "....fine." He opened the door and stepped aside, letting Toris in.

Toris smiled. "Do you want to talk here or upstairs?"

"Here is fine." Feliks said, sitting down on the couch.

Toris nodded and sat next to him. "...Feliks, did you kick me out because you don't want me to get hurt?"

Feliks looked at the ground, not saying anything.

"...it's true. I am being hurt." Toris said, and Feliks looked up. "It hurts me to see you beat up and hurt. Mentally and physically. It's killing me. I want to protect you. I want to be your best friend still. I'm going to fight to keep you safe if it kills me."

Tears started falling out of Feliks' eyes. "W-why... You were going to leave me for the Braginsky girl...everyone leaves..."

Toris shook his head, tears forming. "I cut ties with her. I was really stupid. She wasn't even interested in me. And anyways, you matter more to me than she ever could."

Feliks gritted his teeth. "God, Toris. You are such an idiot."

Toris looked at his friend, stunned. "W-what..?"

"You are so clueless, god dammit!"

"What do you mea-" Toris started, but was cut off by Feliks' mouth crashing onto his own.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun


	6. And I'm gone. And I'm done. No more running, no more lying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> USUK appearance
> 
> Also, suicide attempt ;-; 
> 
> Sorry, so, trigger warning for suicide

Toris sat, stunned, until Feliks pulled away.

"That's what I mean. I love you, dammit." The red shade of Feliks' face at that moment put tomatoes to shame.

Toris' jaw was dropped slightly, and his eyes wide open. "W-what...?"

Feliks hid his face in his hands. "Dammit...please just go..."

"But-"

"GO!"

Toris stumbled up from his seat, still shocked from the sudden love confession. He ran out the door, accidentally slamming it behind him.

Feliks rolled into a ball, sobbing his eyes out. 'What have I done?'

*******************

Toris' thoughts were running wild as he walked slowly back to his house.

Eduard looked up slightly when Toris came through the door. "Welcome back. Mom told me to tell you that she's running to the store really quick." Eduard hesitated, waiting for a response, and looked up when none came. "Toris?"

"..in..lo… ve...i...n..lo..." He whispered.

Eduard snapped up from his seat, and hurried over to his older brother. "Toris?? What's wrong??"

Toris looked up and shook his head, faking a smile. "Ah. No. It's nothing. I'm okay...just tired. Tell mom that I'm not going to eat tonight." He said, pushing past his brother, and going down the stairs to his room.

Eduard started to follow his brother, but quickly decided against it, deciding to check on him in a few hours.

*******************

Toris fell onto his bed, his mind racing. He never would have guessed that Feliks, his best friend since eighth grade, would be in love with him. Obviously, he had known that Feliks was gay. Feliks literally told anyone who asked. Plus, everyone who met him basically knew right away. Or at least assumed. But never in a million years would Toris ever imagined his best friend being in love with him.

He covered his mouth with his hand. 'Why didn't I pull away? Now it feels like I'm leading him on. Oh god. Why. I should have done something. He's probably heartbroken, and it's all my fault.' Toris hugged his pillow to his chest, crying for about the tenth time that day.

********************

After the incident, Feliks avoided Toris like the plague, and stayed home all day instead of going to school, having Elizabeta bring him all his schoolwork. Every time Toris went over, he was just greeted by silence.

It had been nearly a week since Toris had last seen Feliks, and it was driving him insane. For years, the two of them had been inseparable, but now they weren't even talking, because of a couple bullies and a kiss.

Toris rested his head on his desk, barely paying attention to the discussion of the Cold War.

The teacher-a pretty girl in her early twenties, with a blonde pixie cut, and a French accent- was in the middle of explaining why communism had become corrupt in Russia, the phone rang. She huffed, walking over to her desk and answering the phone.

"Ms. Joan's classroom."

She listened to the person on the other end, then nodded, although the person on the other end obviously couldn't see her do so.

"Okay. Will do." She said, hanging up, them looking over at Toris. "Toris. Get your things. You are apparently leaving early."

Toris sat up, confused, but began gathering his things.

He waved halfheartedly at his class, some of which halfheartedly waved back, and walked down to the front office, where his....mother, father, and brothers were waiting.

Toris walked towards them quickly. "...is something wrong?"

Toris' mom nodded and pulled her sons out of the school and hurried towards the car. "Feliks' mom called an hour ago."

"And?" Toris asked, an edge in his voice.

His mom took a deep breath. "Feliks is in the hospital."

*******************

*ding dong*

*ding dong*

"Alfred! Go answer the damn door!!" Alfred's father called out, and his son scurried to his feet and ran to the door, swinging it open.

Before he knew it, his face was stinging, a fresh red slap mark on his face, and a very angry British boy standing in front of him.

"Arthur? What the he-"

"Shut the bloody hell up, you fucking asshole."

Alfred's eyes widened.

Arthur gritted his teeth. "Do you realize what you have done??"

"What?? Done what??!?" Alfred asked, both confused and angry at the same time.

"You pushed a wonderful boy, who, might I add, had never done ANYTHING to you, to suicide." Arthur yelled.

Alfred paled. "W-wha... I...what..."

"You know that boy, Feliks, you always tease with your bastard friends?? Well, he hung himself yesterday."

Alfred felt nauseous. This couldn't be happening.

Arthur clenched his fists, tears forming. "Didn't you already hurt me enough? Why did you have to take out your anger on innocent people?"

Alfred slowly slid to the floor, covering his mouth. He knew that if he said anything, he would surely be sick.

"What happened to you? You used to be so pleasant, but now you've turned into an utter douchebag." Arthur said, angrily. "You need to try to make things right. If it's even possible. You can never change the fact that that boy is lying in a hospital bed, now fighting for his life."

Alfred looked up. "H-he survived..?"

"Yes, but he may never recover......you know what? I can't stand to be in your presence for any longer, so I will now take my leave." He said, turning and running off before Alfred could say another word.

********************

Two months.

That's how long Feliks had been in a coma for, with no signs of waking up. The doctors had said that he had brain damage from lack of air, and if he didn't wake up soon, there would be little to no chance that he would survive.

Toris had visited him almost everyday, bringing flowers and pony stuffed animals. Every single time he visited, he cried, cursing Alfred, Ivan, Sadik, and most of all, himself. He believed that he had been the last nail in the coffin, so to speak. Eduard kept telling him that it wasn't his fault, but he wouldn't listen.

'I should have just told him that I wasn't mad at him for kissing me. I should have tried harder to help him.' Toris constantly told himself.

Feliks' parents were very thankful for Toris keeping their son company, because they couldn't be with him often. Even with their son's condition, they cared more about their work. It sickened Toris.

 

One particular day, Toris heard someone already in the room, who seemed to be talking to Feliks. Toris walked slowly to the door and peeked in, being angered immediately upon seeing who it was. Alfred was sitting in a chair next to Feliks' bed. Toris was about to barge into the room and give the asshole a piece of his mind, when he heard a sob come from the boy.

Toris' eyes widened, and he stepped out of eyesight, listening in.

"God dammit. I'm so fucking sorry. What have I done? Shit. I know. If you were awake, you would probably punch me in the face." Alfred rubbed his eyes. "You don't deserve to be in that bed. If anyone deserves to be there, it's me. Actually, I don't even deserve that. I deserve to be dead....I have been so awful. Not only to you. Do you know that I called my childhood friend a fag and spit in his face , just because I was too scared to tell him that I was in love with him? I realize that he could have just as well be in your situation. God. I picked on you because I was jealous. You were so out about your sexuality. I couldn't even tell my closest friend." Alfred bit his lip so hard that it drew blood. "Please just wake up. You deserve to live. Please fight for it. I know you are so brave. And strong. But, don't do it because I told you. Do it for the people who love you."

And with that, Alfred laid a single rose on the table that the others were on. The rose was a white rose that had been dyed with the colors of the rainbow. On the stem, there was a small piece of pink paper, tied with a ribbon. Alfred took one last look at Feliks, then walked out of the room, walking into Toris.

Alfred stepped back, the apology catching in his throat, seeing who it was.

Toris just stared at him, a mixture of expressions, that Alfred couldn't quite read.

"You're right." Toris whispered, loud enough for Alfred to hear. "You should be in that bed." Then, he pushed past Alfred and into his friend's hospital room.

Alfred squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back another round of tears.

Then, he knew what he had to do.

**********************

Arthur groaned, hearing loud knocking on his door. He was in the middle of cleaning a frying pan, that he had just burned. Again.

He wiped his hands on a towel, running over to the door, then opened it.

Alfred looked up at Arthur, and the two stood in silence for about a minute, before Alfred finally broke it, "....can I come in...?"

Arthur thought for a second, then nodded slowly, stepping aside. Alfred walked into the house, taking it all in. It was much bigger than the old house, where he had gone to millions of times before he ruined their friendship.

Arthur was really wishing that one of his siblings would come home soon. He didn't really want to be alone with Alfred for too long. His sister was visiting Feliks, her twin brother was at his girlfriend's house, his older brother was out of town for a week looking for an apartment near his college, and his parents were out on a date.

"Arthur. I'm sorry." Alfred said, looking at the other boy.

Arthur sighed. "Sorry doesn't even start to fix things, Alfred."

"I know. But you need to know that I was stupid and immature. You didn't deserve that."

"Is that all you came to say, because if it is, please leave. I have other things to attend t-"

"I love you." Alfred interrupted.

Arthur was taken back. "W-what?"

"That's why I spit in your face and called you a fag. I knew you were gay, and it was a horrible thing to do, but I knew that I couldn't be out like you, and it made me so mad and jealous." Alfred confessed, his face bright red.

Arthur stared at him. "Your lying. This is just a sick prank. Please leave."

"Arthur! I'm not lying!! I'm gay!!"

Arthur's face scrunched up in anger. "Alfred, stop. You hurt me enough already. Stop messing with me."

"I'm not messing with you!!!! I'm fucking gay!!! And I've been in love with you since middle school!!"

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because I was scared. If word got to my dad, he would have kicked me out!! He did it to my brother....why the fuck didn't I stand up for him. I loved him. And now, he's added to the list of people who hate me." Alfred took a deep breath, wiping at tears forming in his eyes.

"I never would have told."

"What?"

"Why the hell would I tell anyone??? You knew I was gay!!! You were my best friend!! But, instead, you broke off our friendship for an extremely childish reason." Arthur said, through gritted teeth. "....I loved you too."

Alfred stared at him, shocked. "You...did...?"

"Yes, you git!!! The day you spat in my face and called me a fag, was the day I was planning on confessing to you." Arthur shut his eyes, fighting back tears.

Alfred buried his face in his hands. "Oh god....I fucked up. I don't even deserve to be talking to you. I was so selfish. It'd be better for everyone if I were dead."

"Don't talk like that." Arthur snapped. "Never, ever, ever think that again. No matter how much of a asshole you are."

Alfred's body stared shaking, and Arthur realized that the boy was sobbing. "No....how can you even say that? You hate me."

"I don't hate you. I never have. I just felt guilty, and sad. I should have noticed something was wrong." Arthur stood up and walked over to the American boy. "Look at me." Alfred didn't look up. "Alfred. Look up. If you don't, I will force feed you the scones I just burnt."

Alfred snorted with laughter, and looked up. Arthur had a small smile on his face. "Alfred. I forgive you. Believe me when I say, I never hated you. And never will. Unless you hurt another person like you did to Feliks."

Alfred engulfed Arthur in a hug, then crashed his lips onto Arthur's. Arthur's eyes widened and his face turned bright red.

Alfred pulled away, quickly. "S-sorry."

"Ah. Shit."

"Sorry...." Then, Arthur's lips were on Alfred's again. Alfred stood, shocked, but then snapped out of it, returning the kiss.

Arthur pulled away, panting. "Shit. Why do I still love you?"

Alfred was also panting. "You.…what? How could you still..."

"I've never stopped. Although I've tried. But, if you ever hurt anyone again, I will force myself to move on. I will also never talk to you again. And throw burnt scones at your face."

Alfred laughed. "Shit. If I ever become an asshole again, you have permission to hit me with a car."

"Will do." Arthur said, then kissed Alfred again, slowly pushing them towards the couch. When the back of Alfred's legs his the couch, he fell backwards onto it, Arthur on top of him. "Take off your shirt." Arthur whispered. Alfred quickly lifted his shirt off his head, breaking the kiss momentarily.

Before they began kissing again, Arthur sat up slightly, putting a finger over Alfred's mouth. "The only way I'll forgive you is if you cut bonds with those 'friends' of yours." Alfred nodded rapidly, and tried to kiss Arthur again, but was cut off. "I'm not done. You're going to also come out to them. And your dad. Also, you have to make things right with your brother. And Toris. And every other kid you have ever bullied."

Alfred nodded slowly. "...okay...can you come with me when I come out? The others I'll do on my own."

Arthur nodded. "Okay."

Alfred smiled. "Thank you. For giving me a second chance. Even though I don't deserve one."

Arthur smiled back. "Everyone deserves a second chance. Now, where were we?" He said, then started kissing Alfred, pulling off his own shirt.

Then, the front door swung open, and in walked Arthur's half brother, Seamus.

"I'm ho- oh." He smirked, amused, as Arthur and a boy he had never seen before, fall off the couch, scrambling for their clothes. "I'm sorry. Did I interrupt? I apologize. But, I wonder how mum will react, hearing that her son was about to have sex on her brand new couch?"

Arthur glared. "I wonder how mom would feel about you sneaking over to your girlfriend's house to have sex?"

Seamus' face turned firetrucks red. "Screw you, asshole." Then, he stomped up to his room.

Alfred and Arthur giggled softly.

Then, Arthur's face turned serious. "Alfred. We're going to your house."

"Why? So we can continue?" Alfred said, seductively.

Arthur smirked. "You wish....no...you're going to come out to your dad."

Alfred's stomach dropped.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waah I'm sorry


	7. Only the good die young

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feliks wakes up, but....something is different about him....

"Dad? Can....I ...I need to tell you something...." Alfred said, shuffling awkwardly. Arthur was standing silently behind him.

"Ask away, sport....by the way, who's this?" His father said, raising an eyebrow at Arthur.

"My...childhood friend, dad. He used to come over all the time. Do you not remember?" Alfred furrowed his eyebrows.

His dad thought for a moment. "Hm. No. I don't remember that. Anyways, what did you want to tell me? Make it quick. I'm leaving in 5 minutes to go golfing."

Alfred took a deep breath. "Well....I've wanted to tell you since I was younger....but..."

"But what, Alfred? Speak clearly."

"Um....you know Mattie?"

"You mean your fag of a brother? What about him? Did he die or something, because I don't really care." His father said, a sharp edge to his voice.

Alfred winced and looked back at Arthur, who looked just as nervous as he did now. Arthur's eyes met with his, and he nodded.

"Dad. I'm...I'm gay." Alfred said, standing up as straight as he could, putting on a brave face.

His dad just stared at him for a moment before he started laughing. "You? Gay?? Ha!! That's the funniest thing I've heard in a while!!"

"I'm not joking."

"Like hell you are. You're not gay, Alfred. I know a fag when I see one."

"Obviously not. Because I am one." Alfred glared.

"Yeah yeah. Whatever Alfred." He said, turning away and searching for his keys.

"Dad. If I can't convince you with words, then maybe this will convince you." He then pulled Arthur into a deep kiss, staring at his dad the whole time.

His dad's face quickly turned red in anger. "What the hell, Alfred?? Don't you dare fucking do that in my house." He walked over to the two boys and slapped Alfred across the face. "If you want to act like this, I want you out of my fucking house."

Alfred held his hand to his face, glaring at his dad. "Fine. Then I will." He grabbed Arthur's hand and pulled him to the door.

"Fuck you, Alfred. What would your mother say if she knew she had two fags for sons?" His father yelled. "If you walk out that door, you're never coming back."

Alfred flipped him off and walked out the door.

********************

Toris sat in his class, staring out the window, not even trying to pay attention. He had fallen behind in classes and had no energy to do anything but go visit Feliks. His grades had plummeted from straight A's to D's and C's. He wasn't even trying at this point.

The classroom phone rang and the substitute teacher groaned, walking over and picking up the phone. "Ms. Joan's classroom. Substitute speaking." She paused, letting the other person talk. "Okay. I'll tell him." She hung up the phone and looked around the room. "Um....Toris Lauren...ga... Something. You need to pack your things and go."

Toris felt his stomach drop and his face paled. The last time he had been called out was the time that he found out about Feliks' suicide attempt. 'What if he didn't make it?? Oh god. What if he's dead?' Toris grabbed his backpack off the ground and ran out, not caring that a few papers and pencils were falling out of his half-zipped backpack.

"Ah.. Um..you're dropping..." The sub started, but was cut off by a student.

"Just leave him. He's been through a lot."

Everyone was surprised to see who had spoken. It was the angry, antisocial brother of the cheerful, outgoing Feliciano, Lovino Vargas. He was the last person they'd expected to speak up for Toris. Lovino turned around, glaring at the other students.

"What? I can't be a caring person? Assholes." Lovino growled, his face turning red.

*********************

Toris sprinted up to the office, where Eduard was waiting.

"Eduard! What the hell is going on?? Is it Feliks??" Toris yelled, panicking.

Eduard grabbed his brother's arm and dragged him out of the doors, hurrying to his car. "Yes. It's Feliks."

Toris froze, stopping in his place. 'No. No. This can't be happening. This is all my fault." Tears started slipping down his cheeks.

"Toris!!! Did you even hear anything I just said??? I said that Feliks WOKE UP!!!!!" Eduard said, shaking his brother's shoulders.

Toris' jaw dropped and he just stared at his brother. "What....?"

Eduard dragged him the rest of the way to the car, practically shoving Toris inside. "FELIKS. WOKE. UP."

Toris breathed sighs of relief. Feliks was awake. Feliks wasn't dead. "Well, what are you waiting for?? Let's go!!" He managed to squeak out.

***********************

A doctor stopped Toris from going into Feliks' room.

"You're going to have to wait out here for a little while before you can see him. We have to go over all the mental procedures and sh- ahem. Stuff." A dark skinned man, with dreadlocks pulled into a short ponytail, said.

Toris' face dropped, his expression so sad that it broke the doctor's heart.

"Hey, it'll be okay, kid. He seems to be doing well. He's alive."

Toris nodded slowly, not saying anything.

A person called from inside the room for the doctor, and he gave the boys a sympathetic smile before heading into the room.

Eduard reached out and held his brother's hand. "It'll be okay, Toris." He said, softly. "Feliks is tough. You know that."

Toris nodded. "Yeah...." He whispered, squeezing Eduard's hand.

Soon, Feliks' parents showed up. The smiled softly at Toris....then they were let into the room. Let. Into. The. Room. The parents who never bothered to be there for their son. The parents who hardly ever came to visit their ONLY SON in the hospital when he was fighting for his life.

"What the hell?" Toris said, standing up.

A female nurse turned around. "Is....there a problem, sir?"

Eduard tried to shut Toris up and have him sit down, but Toris just pulled away. "Why did you let them in??"

"His...parents...?"

"Yes, his parents!! Why are they in there?? They hardly came and visited him!! All they did was pay the bill!! They couldn't even be bothered to stay with him on the first day to see how he was doing!!! Why can't I go in there?? I've been here everyday, hoping and begging and praying that he would wake up, but when he finally does, I'm not let into the room??"

The nurse's face paled. "Umm...I'm sorry...but I can't..."

"....let him in..." Feliks' mom said sadly, standing in the doorway.

"A-are you sure?" The nurse stuttered, looking back and forth between the two.

She nodded. "Yes. He was here for Feliks everyday. I think he deserves to see him."

The nurse bit her lip. "Um...okay....if you say so....."

Toris thanked Feliks' mom and walked in through the door, leaving Eduard behind.

The first thing he noticed when he walked in the door was the...smiling face? Feliks was smiling???

He ran over to the bedside, startling Feliks. "Feliks!! You're okay!! Oh thank god!!" He said, hugging his friend.Toris could feel Feliks tense under his arms, so he let go, quickly. "S-sorry. I got excited."

The smile had fallen from Feliks' face, and was replaced with a shy frown. "...who are you, creep?"

Toris' heart skipped a beat and the room went silent. The bustling sound of the doctors moving around stopped, and everyone stared at the blonde boy.

"F-Feliks? It's m-me. Toris." Toris' voice was shaking.

Feliks pulled the blanket up, protectively. "I don't think I know you."

A doctor walked over to Feliks and felt his forehead. "You don't know this boy?"

Feliks shook his head.

The doctor smiled softly at Feliks, and pulled Toris aside. "Who are you to him?"

"I'm his best friend. I have been since eighth grade..." Tears started running down his face.

The doctor pursed his lips. "Eighth grade, you say?"

Toris nodded, sniffling.

"Okay..." The doctor turned back to Feliks. "Feliks?"

Feliks looked up at him. "Yes?"

"What grade are you in?"

Feliks thought for a moment. "Um...eleventh grade. I'm a junior."

"Oh. And what school do you go to?"

"AFA...Allied Forces Academy."

The doctor glanced back at Toris. "It seems like he remembers everything alright. So, I don't know who you are, but you should leave."

Toris shook his head and walked back over to Feliks' bed. "You...really don't remember me...?"

Feliks shook his head slowly. "Should I?"

Toris wiped at his eyes. "Yes. I've been your best friend since eighth grade. You were my first friend that I made in America. You were the only one in that class who didn't make fun of my accent...even though you made fun of my clothes...and some other stuff...but, you were the best friend I've ever had. I miss you. So much. I miss you, so, so, so much."

Feliks pursed his lips, trying his hardest to think. "I'm...sorry....I really don't remember you."

"Oh..." Toris squeezed his eyes shut. "Okay...sorry to bother you..." And with that, Toris turned on his heel and ran out of the room.

"You...seriously don't remember him?" Feliks' dad asked, slowly.

Feliks looked over at his father, surprised. "What...?"

His father just sighed.

*******************

"Toris. It's been two days. Come eat something. You're going to die if you keep this up!!" Toris' mom shouted from outside his door. She just received a muffled 'no' in response. She ran a hand through her hair. "Please, honey. Just eat something. I don't care if it's just a couple crackers. Just come eat. You'll starve."

Toris grunted. "No."

His mom pressed her head against his door. "Please? If not, could you let me in? Just talk to me?"

Toris sighed, stood up and unlocked the door, then retreated back to burying his face in his tear-soaked pillow.

His mom slowly opened the door and walked in. "Thank you, hun." She said, coming over to sit on the end of his bed. She placed her hand on his back and rubbed soothing circles on it; just like she did when he or his brothers were sick. "Toris. Honey. You have to go talk to him. Even if he doesn't remember you, it doesn't mean that you can't still be his friend and make new memories with him."

Toris shrugged.

She ran her fingers through his hair. "Jesus Christ, Toris. You need a bath....also, you're going back to school tomorrow. You really need to get caught up. Most of your teachers were nice enough to freeze your schoolwork for now, but you really need to go back."

Toris turned around and opened his mouth to protest, but his mom hushed him.

"No arguing. Me and your dad decided this." She said, firmly.

Toris looked away, frowning. "You're not my mom. He's not my dad."

His mom was taken back. He had never said something like that to them before. "Well, we are as long as you're living in this house. Now go take a bath. Right now. I mean it. If I don't hear the water running in five minutes, I will come up here and bathe you myself."

Toris sighed and nodded slowly.

"Good. Five minutes."

*******************

Toris stared blankly at the front of the classroom. Not at anything in particular. Just the front of the classroom. But, he was broken out of his trance by a familiar voice coming from the front of the room. A voice he'd heard almost every day since eighth grade. He looked over at the place where Feliks was standing, talking with the teacher. The teacher smiled at him, patted his back and told him to take his seat. Feliks looked a little confused for a second, as if he was trying to remember where he sat. The teacher had to point it out for him. Feliks nodded and made his way over to his seat.

"Oh! You're that weird kid." Feliks said, recognizing Toris. "Have you always sat next to me?"

Toris nodded slowly.

Feliks furrowed his brows, trying to remember. "Oh. Really? It's like really totally weird that I don't remember that...and that I don't remember you. Even though everyone is saying that I should."

Toris bit his lip. "It's... Fine...it's not your fault. At all."

"Well..." Feliks sighed. "I was the one who hung...myself... Which is like really weird that I can't remember why..."

"...it was my fault....and a few bullies. But mostly mine...I was the last straw, I guess you could say."

"What? How..."

"Let's go talk in the hallway."

"Wha-"

Toris stood up from his desk. "Mister G! Feliks isn't feeling well. Can I take him to the nurse?"

The teacher nodded, then looked back to the papers he was grading.

Toris nodded to Feliks, who stood up slowly. "Should I bring my backpack...?"

Toris shook his head. "We'll be quick."

"Okay..." Feliks said, following Toris out of the classroom and into a nearby janitor's closet, that had a broken lock. Raivis had found that out the hard way, when he heard some...noises and decided to check it out.

"Let's talk in here." Toris said, closing the door behind them.

"Totally..." Feliks said, making a face, and standing as far away from the dirty stuff as possible. "How did we meet? Let's start with that."

Toris inhaled deeply before beginning. "It was about the second or third week of eighth grade. My new parents had just adopted me and my two brothers, Raivis and Eduard. You approached me and said 'hello' and we got to talking, and hit it off right away. Ever since then, we were inseparable."

"Then what?"

"Then...you wanted to go to a party..."

"Oh. Gilbert's party? I totally remember that. I...just don't remember a lot of it... I don't remember you being there either."

"I was there. I was designated driver. But then, you got really drunk and threw up on Natalia's shoes."

"Natalia?"

"Oh. Ivan's sister."

"Who's Ivan...?"

Toris stared at him blankly. "You...don't remember him either?" Feliks shook his head. "What about Alfred and Sadik?" Another head shake. "...wow..."

"...why?"

"We'll get to them....anyways, I went to get paper towels for her, and when I came back, you were gone. I looked everywhere for you, until I got a phone call from my brother's friend. Apparently, his parents had found you in the alley by your house. You had a slight concussion and a broken wrist. They took off the cast while you were in the coma."

Feliks looked at his wrist. "Ah."

"When I got there, you were lying on the couch, with a really high fever, then the ambulance came, and you were taken away. Apparently Alfred and Ivan had beat you up. After that, you changed....you got really depressed. Then, you kicked me out when I brought you your homework one day and said you never wanted to see me again. But, I came back anyways. And you...."

"And I what...?" Feliks asked, a slight edge to his voice.

Toris took a deep breath. "You kissed me and told me you love me." He laughed awkwardly. "And now...I think I love you too. But, of course, it's too late. As soon as I realize it, you don't remember me..."

"I did...?"

Toris nodded.

"Oh...um...you like never told me who Alfred...and Ivan are...."

"Oh. It's a group of three assholes: Sadik, Alfred, and Ivan. They've been bullying you since freshman year...I think they were definitely part of what drove you to suicide...I was the other part...."

"How were you the other part?"

"...I should have kissed you back...or talked to you. Not left you alone. Anything."

"...I don't think you were any part of it. You're like too sweet."

"But, it seems like you forgot everything that led to your suicide attempt."

Feliks sighed. "Maybe. But I still don't think you like had any part in it."

Toris looked at the ground. "Sure...we should...get back to class." He said, standing up.

'Why can't I remember any of this...?' Feliks thought, standing up.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS I got this memory loss idea from the manga, Love Stage :3
> 
> And Kowagaranai de, soba no Ite. It's a super cute manga, you should totally read it if you haven't


	8. Let the memory live again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aww

"What's your History teacher's name?"

"Miss. Joan."

"First pet's name?"

"Totally like never had a pet."

"Mhm. Last question. Who was your best friend growing up?"

".....people keep telling me it's Toris.... But, I like don't remember any of it..."

The doctor nodded, and snapped his notepad shut. "I see. Well....it appears that you have a very rare case of amnesia. I have only seen one other case of this, when I worked in Japan fifteen years ago. It was a young man, about your age." He gestured towards Feliks. "He was hit in the head and knocked out, but when he awoke, he forgot all about his girlfriend, who he had been fighting with moments before he was knocked unconscious, completely."

Feliks bit his lip. "Oh....did he regain his memory?"

"Parts of it. After intense therapy, and having to stay with her all the time. He regained about 72% of his memory. The other percentage was lost."

"How long did that take?"

"Two years."

"T-two years??" Feliks sputtered. "That long??"

The doctor sighed. "I'm afraid so. Mental issues are quite hard to deal with. Especially ones to do with memory loss."

"That's unfair."

"Life's not always fair, bud."

**********************

Feliks collapsed on his bed, then picked up his little pony, Anastasia, and held it close. "This is totally lame." He pulled her in front of his face, making her sit on his pillow, facing him. "Don't you think so?"

"Yeah, that's like totally lame!!" Feliks said, in the voice he used to pretend to be Anastasia talking to him.

Feliks sighed, and rolled onto his face, burying it in his pillows. "It is..."

A buzzing sound came from the dresser by his bed. He sat up, curious as to what the noise could be. His phone. Of course it was his phone. What else would make a buzzing sound like that? He mentally slapped himself. Until then, he had totally forgotten about it.

It was Elizabeta. At least he hadn't forgotten her.

From: Elizaaaaa >_< ♥♥♥  
3:55 pm

[How are you feeling?]

Feliks thought about it. 'How AM I feeling?' Sadness? Confusion? Anger? All three?

To: Elizaaaaa >_< ♥♥♥  
4:01 pm

[not the bst I gtg do hw, bye]

From: Elizaaaaa >_< ♥♥♥  
4:03 pm

[Oh. Okay. Take it easy.]

Feliks sighed and placed his phone face down beside his pillow.

Wait. His phone. Toris.

Feliks picked up his phone again, mentally slapping himself. Again. Toris must have at least texted him before. Maybe he still had the texts.....bingo.

He clicked on Toris' contact and began scrolling through the messages.

All of the messages were from before he had gone into the coma.

From: Toris ♥  
Feliks? I'm sorry. I know you're angry. I'm really sorry please talk to me.

From: Toris ♥  
I'm really sorry. I'm not mad at you for earlier.

From: Toris ♥  
Please talk to me

Most of the most previous texts were like that. The ones before those were from immediately after/during the party.

From: Toris ♥  
Where are you???

From: Toris ♥  
Please answer me!! I'm really worried!!!

From: Toris ♥  
Did you go home???

[Missed call from Toris ♥]

[Missed call from Toris ♥]

[Missed call from Toris ♥]

[Missed call from Toris ♥]

From: Toris ♥  
Do you not have your phone?? God dammit, Feliks, I'm freaking out!!!

The messages from that day stopped there.

The messages above those were mostly just random crap the boys would talk about.

From: Toris ♥  
Guess what? We got to watch your favorite movie in my film lit class today! (It was Grease, in case you forgot what your favorite movie is)

From: Toris ♥  
Do you want to go to the park for lunch today?

From: Toris ♥  
Can you come over?

From: Toris ♥  
Can you come over? Raivis needs homework help, and he says that I'm 'not sufficient enough'. Whatever that means.

Feliks touched his cheeks, feeling a wetness on his face. He hadn't realized he was crying. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't he remember Toris? Why did he attempt suicide? What were all the missing pieces in his memory? What and who was he forgetting?

He pressed the button to open up the keypad, and typed in a short message.

From: Feliks  
To: Toris ♥  
I want to talk.

He bit his lip. He needed answers, and Toris seemed the best option. Toris' reply came seconds later.

From: Toris ♥  
Okay. When?

To: Toris ♥  
ASAP

From: Toris ♥  
Okay. Do you want to come to my house?

To: Toris ♥  
Can you come to mine?

From: Toris ♥  
Sure. I'll be over in ten minutes.

To: Toris ♥  
K

Feliks set his phone down on his bed and sighed. Why did this happen? It made no sense. He didn't feel depressed. 'So, why did I try to kill myself?' Feliks thought.   
He was broken out of his thoughts by the doorbell ringing. "Is that Toris? That was fast." He ran down the stairs. "Coming!!!" When he opened the door, there was an unfamiliar boy standing there. "Um...who are you?"

The boy looked up, confused. "...I'm Alfred."

Feliks remembered Toris saying something about an Alfred. Like, that he was a bully... Or something. "Um...okay. What do you want?"

Alfred shuffled awkwardly. "I just....wanted to say I'm sorry."

"Okaaaay...? For what?"

"For what?? Y'know. Bullying you....?"

"Uh huh. Okay. That's cool. Can you, like, leave? I'm expecting someone." Feliks put a hand on his hip, and glared at Alfred.

"S-seriously?? You don't remember me?!" Alfred raised his voice, making Feliks tense up. "Listen!! I'm trying to apologize!! Stop pretending like you don't remember me."

"But.....I really don't...."

Alfred huffed, and ran his fingers through his hair. "Whatever dude." He mumbled, and walked away.

Feliks just stood there for a minute, a confused expression on his face, then, he shrugged, and shut the door. He debated on whether he should go back upstairs, or sit on the couch, and see what was on TV. He decided on the later. He flipped through the channels, then, when he had finally settled on one, heard a soft knock at the door. He shot up, and ran to answer it. "Hi." He said, opening the door.

Toris smiled awkwardly. "Hi." He held out a plastic JC Pennies bag to Feliks. "Here....you forgot this at my house a while back."

Feliks accepted the bag, and let Toris in, shutting the door behind him. The bag was filled with two or three dresses; ADORABLE dresses, might I add. He retook his spot on the couch, and gestured for Toris to sit down. "....thanks..."

Toris sat next to Feliks, blushing slightly. This had been the place where Feliks had kissed him, months before. "You're welcome. Now, why did you ask me to come over?"

"Um....I want you to like tell me all you know about our relationship. In detail." Feliks said, biting his lip.

"....everything?"

"Everything."

"Okay. Where do I start?"

"The beginning."

"Okay. So, we met in eighth grade in....English class? I think. But, anyways, I was new and you came and said hi to me. And I was really scared that you would make fun of my accent like everyone else, but you never did...although you did make fun of my clothes." Toris laughed softly. "And you really helped me through the time in my life when my brothers and I were placed in foster care with Ivan Braginsky's family. Well, not all his family, as I have come to recently know. Just him and his older sister. And his parents. I actually had a crush on his sister. But, I didn't KNOW she was his sister....otherwise, I wouldn't even consider it. But, yeah. We've been friends for a long time. And god dammit, this sucks so much. I hate those bastards so much." He clenched his fists together. "They hurt you, Feliks. And now, you may never regain your memories of us just because of their stupid pranks!!"

Feliks placed his hands over Toris'. "It's not your fault."

Tears began rushing down Toris' nose and landing on his and Toris' hands in little drops. "But it is. I should have done something more. But I didn't and now you're suffering." Toris wiped his eyes on the back of his hand. "It's too late for this, but I want to say it anyways." Toris looked Feliks in the eyes. "Feliks Łukasiewicz, I love you."

Feliks bit his lip, trying to stop himself from crying, but to no avail. Tears ran down his face one by one. "Dammit. This sucks."

"It's... It's not your fault, Feliks." Toris whispered, looking at the ground.

"Please don't cry..." Feliks sobbed quietly, covering his mouth.

Toris began to sob as well. "Y-you're crying too, Feliks."

Feliks sniffled, and pulled Toris into a hug. Toris completely broke down, sobbing into Feliks' shoulder.

"Toris?"

Toris looked up at his friend, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. "What?"

"I want to make more memories with you. I want to get to know you again."

Toris nodded quickly. "Okay." He whispered, smiling softly.

**************************

Arthur jumped as the door to his house slammed open.

"Alfred? Is that you?" He called down the stairs. Alfred had begun living with him after being kicked out by his father. Arthur's parents didn't even really notice. They were too involved with the new baby.

Alfred stomped up the stairs and into Arthur's room, flopping down on his bed, huffing.

Arthur sat down beside Alfred slowly. "What's wrong?"

"I went over to Feliks' house to try to apologize, but he pretended like he didn't know me."

"I don't blame him.....it's going to take a lot more than an apology to even start to make up for everything you did to him....for god's, sake, you stripped him naked and left him in an alley. You could literally be in juvenile prison." Arthur sighed, ruffling Alfred's hair.

"Yeah, but why would he act like he doesn't know me?"

Arthur shrugged. "I don't know. You'll have to ask him that yourself.....now shut up. I have to write a three page history essay."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's only gonna be one or two more chapters after this, I think ^^


	9. Helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feliks runs into trouble on the way to meet his friends.
> 
> **WARNING**
> 
> There is a rape scene in this chapter :0   
> It's not very graphic, just hinted at, really :p, but proceed at your own caution!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I finally got off my lazy ass and finished this chapter XD. Sorry that it kinda sucks.

"Hey~" Chloe said, balancing her phone on her shoulder as she painted her fingernails a greenish-blueish color.

"Hey, what's up?" Elizabeta asked, grinning at the sound of her girlfriend's voice.

"Not much. I was just calling to check on you. Haven't seen you much lately."

Elizabeta smiled softly. "I'm okay."

"Hm. Really~?" Chloe hummed, playfully. "How's Feliks?"

"He's getting by... I think it's been way harder on Toris than it was on Feliks."

"Yeah. That's understandable. Ah, shit!!" Chloe cursed as she knocked the nail polish bottle over, spilling some on her bed.

Elizabeta giggled. "You okay?"

"Yeah. My fricking nail polish bottle knocked over." She placed it back up the right way. "Thank god only a little spilled. My mum would've killed me."

"Haha~" Elizabeta laughed. "Sooooo, do ya wanna go on a date~?"

"A date~?" Chloe said, grinning. "What kind of date~?"

"A double date~"

"Ooh! With who?"

"Toris and Feliks."

Chloe raised her eyebrow. "They agreed to this?"

"No. Not yet. But trust me. They will. They wiiiilll."

"Okay. Good luck with that. So, where are we going?"

"Hm...I was thinking maybe a movie, then dinner."

"Sounds good to me. What time?"

"Uh...six-ish."

"Okay. I'll see you then."

"Okay. Love you~"

Chloe giggled. "Love you too~"

Elizabeta hung up, and immediately typed in Toris' number. After pressing 'call', she lifted it up to her ear.

Ring

Ring

Ring

*click*

"Hello?"

"Hi, Toris!!" She said, cheerfully.

"Elizabeta? Um, hi?"

"Sooooo I was wondering if you and Feliks wanted to go on a date with Chloe and I tonight~."

Toris sighed. "I dunno...Feliks and I aren't even together... Wait...you and Chloe??? Are you guys together??"

"Yup!" She said, popping the 'p'. "It happened after that party. We just clicked."

"Ah. Well, I guess I'll ask him....what time?"

"Six-ish. I can pick you guys up."

"...okay, fine."

"Yay!! I'll see you at six!!"

*********************

From: Toris ♥  
2:30 pm

[Hey, so Elizabeta wanted to go on an outing with her and Chloe, and she wants us to come along.]

Feliks looked up from his book he was reading, and picked up his phone, reading the message. He smiled and blushed, quickly typing out his answer.

To: Toris ♥  
2:31 pm

[Sure!! >^< what time?]

From: Toris ♥  
2:31 pm

[6]

To: Toris ♥  
2:32 pm

[Okay! I'll meet you there!]

From: Toris ♥  
2:32 pm

[Are you sure?]

To: Toris ♥  
2:34 pm

[Yep! I only live like two blocks away. I'm sure I'll make it lol]

From: Toris ♥  
2:34 pm

[Okay ^^ see you there]

*************************

At 5:30, Feliks decided to head out, checking his hair one last time before he walked out the door.

As he was walking down the street, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being followed. He glanced behind him a few times, and sometimes saw a person quickly hide behind a tree or light pole. He shivered, beginning to walk faster. What made it worse was that the sun was beginning to set, sort of sending off an eerie glow. Just as he was about to turn the corner, his mouth was covered by a gloved hand, and he was dragged into the alleyway.

He grunted as he was thrown to the ground, scraping his hands on the pavement. He looked up to see two boys standing above him. One had a mask covering the upper half of his face, while the other had a huge scarf wrapped around his neck. They both had sadistic smiles on their faces.

"Hey fag. Nice to see you again." The one with the face mask said, kicking Feliks in the stomach.

*************************

Toris paced back and forth in front of the movie theatre, biting one of his nails anxiously.

Chloe and Elizabeta looked at each other, then back at Toris. "Hey, Toris? What's wrong? You're kinda creeping me out here." Elizabeta said, leaning against her girlfriend.

"Feliks isn't here yet."

Elizabeta raised an eyebrow. "...so? It's only 6:10. You know how long he takes getting ready."

"What if something happened to him? God, I knew I shouldn't have let him go by himself."

Elizabeta walked over and put her hand on his shoulder to stop him from pacing. "He'll be fine. He's just running a little late."

Toris took a deep breath. "Yeah. You're probably right....but just to be sure..." He pulled out his phone and texted Feliks.

To: Feliks  
6:12 pm

[Are you on your way??]

************************

Feliks' phone buzzed in his pocket, and he slowly reached down to grab it, knowing that if he was able to grab it, he could at least try to call the police. Before he could reach it, the boy with the face mask pulled his arm behind his back, twisting it painfully. Feliks screamed out in pain, as the scarfed kid pulled his phone out of his pocket.

He turned the phone on and looked at the screen. "Aww. Do you have somewhere to be?" He said in a thick Russian accent. "Aww. Toris is texting him. 'Are you on your way?' He says. Aw! On your way where? To a gay orgy?"

"That's not even a good insult." Feliks spat, glaring at him.

The boy holding Feliks down scoffed. "Like you could make a better one." He said, pulling Feliks' arm back further.

Feliks' phone buzzed again, and the Russian kid looked down at it. "Now Toris says, 'Feliks, where are you? You're making me worried'."

"Give me...back my...phone." Feliks panted, squirming in pain.

"Oh? Make me." The Russian smirked. "Hm. It would be a shame if it broke, wouldn't it?"

"Don't! Ah!" Feliks cried, as the masked guy pulled his arm further back.

The Russian held the phone between his thumb and index finger, dangling it above Feliks' head, tauntingly. Then, he chucked it at the wall, shattering the screen into pieces.

************************

"It's been half an hour!! Where is he??!?" Toris said, anxiously, sending more and more texts asking if Feliks was okay.

To: Feliks  
6:34 pm

[Feliks!! Where are you???!??]

"Toris! Stop! You're stressing out about this way too much!" Elizabeta said, placing her hand over Toris'.

"Last time he wasn't replying to my texts, he ended up stripped and beat up in a freaking alleyway!! I can't risk that happening to him again!!"

***********************

"No!!" Feliks yelled, and the masked boy shoved his hand over his mouth, silencing him.

"You know our other buddy, Alfred became a fag because of you? Started dating some British boy or some shit."

Alfred....? ....Suddenly it dawned on Feliks. These must be the bullies the others had told him about. Alfred...Ivan.. And, there was one other one...Sadik! And Alfred must have been the one who had come to his house to apologize the other day....Feliks' eyes widened. "Get...get off me!"

"Hm. Ivan, should we listen to what this fag says?" The kid with the mask snickered.

'So Ivan is the Russian one. So, the one holding me down must be Sadik.' Feliks thought.

Ivan laughed in a dark manner that made Feliks shiver. "Let's have a little more fun with him."

"Hm. I agree. You know what? Maybe Alfred was on to something with the whole gay thing?" Sadik smirked, looking down at Feliks, grinning. "Maybe we should try it out. I mean, he looks enough like a girl for it not to be actually super gay. He even dresses like one too sometimes. Plus, I haven't gotten laid in a while, and I'm feeling extra horny tonight."

"I like where you're going with this." Ivan moved closer to Feliks.

"Who should have the first go?"

"I think it would be only fair if you went first, since you were the one who came up with the idea."

"Why thank you, Ivan. Hold him down for me, won't ya?"

Ivan nodded, taking Feliks' arms and holding them in a tight grip above Feliks' head. Feliks thrashed around, trying to get away. "Get away from me!! Sto-" Feliks' screams were cut off by Ivan's fist making contact with his throat. Feliks coughed and sputtered, trying to get his breath back.

"Now shut up, or I'll rip out your throat." Ivan whispered, leaning close to his ear.

Tears rolled down Feliks' eyes as he felt Sadik pull off his belt and undo his pants.

**********************

"Okay. That's it. I'm going out to look for Feliks." Toris stated.

"What?? No! You can't! Its dangerous! It's getting really dark!" Chloe exclaimed.

Elizabeta nodded. "At least let us come with you! We can take Chloe's car to go to his house. That's probably where he is."

"No. I'm not going to get you involved. I'm going alone. I'll call you if I find him." Toris replied, walking away.

Elizabeta started to follow, but Chloe stopped her. "If he wants to go by himself we should let him."

"But-"

"He'll be okay."

Elizabeta sighed. "I sure hope so..."

***********************

Toris ran down the path he knew that Feliks' most likely would have taken to the theatre. "Feliks!! Feliks!!" He yelled, looking all around for any signs of his friend.

After rounding a corner, he froze upon seeing two figures run out from the nearby alley, away from him. In the near dark, he could barely make out a half mask on one boys face and a scarf on the other.

"Sadik and Ivan..." He whispered, then ran into the alley.

He gasped when he saw Feliks' figure huddled in the corner, shaking.

"Feliks!" He ran over to the boy and slid down next to him.

Feliks' jeans had been ripped and thrown to the side, and his underwear was around his ankles. But upon further examination, Toris discovered that that wasn't the worst part. There was a white liquid mixed with blood oozing out of Feliks' ass. Toris squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his fists. He was going to kill Sadik and Ivan.

Toris pulled off his jacket and placed it over Feliks to cover him before calling 911.

He covered his mouth with his hand and took a few deep breaths through his nose to calm himself.

"Hello. 911. What's your emergency?" A female voice rang out from the other end.

"M-my friend was beat up and r-ra.." Toris started, starting to hyperventilate, then covering his mouth and taking more deep breaths out of his nose.

"Sir? Please repeat that."

"He w-was....H-he was.. He's bleeding.."

"Sir, please state your location and we will send professional assistance."

"I...I....I'm in alley on t-the corner..of Princeton and Kyojin drive...."

"Okay, sir. The police will be over there soon. Please do not move locations." She said.

"O-okay... Okay..."

The 911 operator hung up.

"Toris...?" Feliks whispered, turning his head to look up.

"Feliks! Shhh don't move. It'll be okay. They're gone and the police are on their way." Toris said.

"Toris....they....they...."

"I know..." Toris said, taking a hold of Feliks' hand.

Feliks squeezed his hand, sobbing. "It hurts so bad..."

"I know....help is coming soon." Toris said, running his fingers through Feliks' hair.

Feliks jolted at first upon feeling Toris' touch, but soon leaned into the comforting feeling.

Sirens came from around the corner, and Toris looked up quickly.

Three police officers rounded the corner, and Toris motioned them over.

Two officers tended to Feliks, while the third one checked up on Toris.

"Are you okay? You're not hurt anywhere are you?" She asked, looking him over.

Toris shook his head, tears forming in his eyes. "N-no... They just....they hurt him...."

The police officer glanced behind her at Feliks, then looked back at Toris. "I know...can you come with me?" She asked, standing up.

"But...what about..."

"He'll be fine. Just come with me to my car and we'll get him helped as soon as possible."

Toris hesitated for a moment, then nodded and stood up.

The police officer gave him a sympathetic smile, then led him to her car. "Here. Stay right here for a minute. I'll be right back." She said, going back into the alleyway.

Moments later, an ambulance showed up, and two medical examiners jumped out of the truck, and grabbed a stretcher and a bag of medical supplies. Toris watched them disappear into the alley, then reemerge a few minutes later, carrying Feliks out on a stretcher, and bringing him into the ambulance.

Toris tried to go towards him, but was held back by the police officer. "No. You can't go ride in the ambulance with him. It's against the rules."

Toris grit his teeth, and pulled away from her grip. "Fine."

"Do you have your phone on you?"

Toris nodded.

"Can you call your parent or guardian to let them know of the situation?"

Toris nodded again, and pulled out his phone. He clicked on his adopted mom's contact, and held the phone up to his ear.

Ring

Ring

R-

"Toris? Sweetie? What's wrong?"

"Um...I'm going to be out a little later than planned..."

"What? Why?"

"...I'm going to the police station..."

".....the POLICE station???!?? Toris, why the fuck are you going to the police station?!??!"

"Um...Feliks....Feliks got....hurt again...I need to give a statement."

"Oh my god. Are you okay?!? Is Feliks okay?!?"

"I'm fine, mum. Feliks....I don't think Feliks is...."

"What even happened?!??"

"I...really don't want to talk about it....I don't know the full details either...."

"Okay, honey. I'll meet you at the police station to take you home after your done."

".....okay. Bye."

"Goodbye, sweetie. See you soon."

***********************

Feliks blinked slowly, trying to adjust his eyes to the bright hospital lights. The first thing he noticed was a sharp pain in his hips. Tears sprung to his eyes as the memories of Sadik and Ivan raping him came back to his mind. He covered his mouth with his hand and held back a sob. The mere thought of it made him sick to his stomach.

A male nurse walked in, carrying a clipboard. "Ah. You're awake." He said. "....are you okay? How do you feel?"

Feliks shook his head. "...I'm not okay..."

The nurse gave him a sympathetic look. "Yeah....I'm sorry, bud. There's a police officer outside. They need to ask you a few questions. Is it okay if I let them in?"

Feliks nodded slowly.

The nurse gave him one last sympathetic smile before leaving the room. A few moments later, a short, Asian police officer came in.

"Hello. My name is Officer Yao Wang, and I need to ask you a few questions about the events of tonight."

Feliks nodded.

"Okay. Can you give me a quick run through?"

"...I was walking to the movie theatre to meet up with some friends and...they... pulled me into an alley...they broke my phone...and they beat me up...t-then...they...r-raped me..." Thick tears fell down Feliks' face.

The officer nodded and wrote in a tiny notebook. "Do you know the names of your assailants?"

Feliks nodded. "Ivan and Sadik."

"Last names?"

Feliks shook his head. "...I don't know."

"Okay. Thank you." The officer said, standing up. "Goodbye. Feel better." He said, then left the room.

Feliks buried his face in his hands and cried.

*********************

"Feliks?" Toris' soft voice came from the doorway of Feliks' hospital room the next day.

Feliks looked up and tried to smile, but could only muster a tiny upturn of the left corner of his lip. "Hi."

Toris walked over to Feliks' bed and took a seat in the chair beside it. "Um....how are you feeling?"

"Like total shit."

Toris bit his lip and nodded.

Feliks squeezed his eyes shut, holding back tears. "...they took my virginity."

Toris clenched his fists. "....I know."

Feliks broke down. "Toris, t-they freaking r-raped me..."

Toris pulled Feliks into his arms. Feliks tensed up for a moment, then melted into Toris' touch.

"I-I'm not a v-virgin any m-more....it hurts so bad..." Feliks sobbed into Toris' shoulder. "T-they just stuck it in...."

Tears started falling from Toris' eyes as well. "I know...I'm so sorry, Feliks..."

"I can still feel it... I can still feel them...oh god...I want to die...."

"No, Feliks. Don't you dare say that. Don't ever say that." Toris said, hugging him tighter.

Feliks didn't say anything. Instead, he cried onto Toris' shoulder until he fell asleep.

**********************

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I should make this chapter really cute and end it on a happy note.
> 
> Me to me: make a rape scene and make the story more of a shit storm.
> 
>  
> 
> I'm sorry >_<
> 
> Please give me feedback!! Comments really help!!


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